Secrets

Some secrets are dirty and smelly, and the longer they are kept the more overwhelming the foul smell when they are finally let out. They create chaos and clutter and dirt and bad, bad smells. I opened the windows wide, letting in the cold, fresh, clean air. I picked up and vacuumed and scrubbed and cleaned and walked with great purpose back and forth to the laundry room. I knew I was doing too much too fast, that later I would be exhausted, but it all had to be done immediately, if not sooner.

When it was all done, I sat in our most comfortable chair in the living room as the afternoon sun streamed in. The rug was clean and soft under my bare toes. I closed my eyes, hearing the sweet silence and smelling the faint odor of fresh oranges.

I breathed in and out and in and out. As I concentrated on my breathing, I realized I had been holding my breath for days.

I didn't feel hungry, but I take good care of myself in all ways, and eating is one of those. I scoured the refrigerator for every vegetable I could find and sauteed them in a big skillet with olive oil and lots of garlic. It smelled so delicious, and as I swirled in the linguine, I realized I had been hungry for a very long time.

Secrets lose their power when they are let out. The dirty becomes clean. The dank, sour smell goes away. The chaotic becomes peaceful. I breathe easy once again, and enjoy the simple pleasure of a bowl of pasta.

Susan