Monday, June 28, 2010

The Hardest Word

I once knew a woman who would not admit when she was wrong. She also had an odd (but oddly amusing) way of apologizing. "If I have done anything to offend you, I apologize." I heard her say this a number of times to people, and once she told me of a disagreement between two of her coworkers. She drew one of them aside and advised that they actually say this. On one occasion, I witnessed a conversation where someone very clearly told her what she had done (and she was 100% in the wrong) and she got all huffy and said, "Well, I'm sorry I'm not perfect." Then she burst into tears.

It seems that we as humans go to extremes. There are the people who won't apologize, and then there are the ones who are constantly saying they are sorry for everything under the sun. Can't we find a happy medium? Even the most well-intentioned person will hurt others from time to time, and an apology is in order.

You state what you have done; clearly. You acknowledge how it has affected the other person; simply. You say you are sorry; sincerely. You take steps to never do it again; positively. We teach toddlers to do this. Don't hit your brother. That hurts. Tell him you are sorry. If a two-year-old can understand that, why do we as adults make it so complicated?

Susan

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