Meet Little Susie

One of the most significant things that came out of my therapy a few years ago was the fact that I had not been trusting my instincts. What would happen is this. I would intuitively know something, then take it and analyze it, intellectualize it, rationalize it, blah blah blah. Of course, we can't run around all crazy just going with how we feel, but I had gone way over in the opposite direction. I would even say things like, "I am just not intuitive." But I am. So slowly I began to learn to listen to how I feel. It is an ongoing process.

The other day I had a feeling about something, and I didn't like it. But I knew it was true. I wanted to apply "logic" to it, but what I quickly recognized was as we would say back in the 1970's, a "cop out." I didn't want to accept the truth of my intuition, so I wanted to slip into what used to be old default, which is try to reason myself out of it. And I didn't allow myself to do it. I made myself accept the cold, hard fact of what I knew. And I'm moving forward with it.

It was a big moment for me, because I think I have sometimes (often?) hidden behind my intellect to keep from feeling my emotions. It was interesting and helpful to see it for what it is. I think the little child that we used to be still lives inside each of us. I wrote about the little girl inside of me here in Come Out and Play. I think the things I know intuitively come from her, from the wisdom of a child. I am listening to her more and more.

A while back, my dear niece sent me a picture of what she thinks is the little girl me. So here she is. Meet Little Susie.

Susan