Meet Little Susie

One of the most significant things that came out of my therapy a few years ago was the fact that I had not been trusting my instincts. What would happen is this. I would intuitively know something, then take it and analyze it, intellectualize it, rationalize it, blah blah blah. Of course, we can't run around all crazy just going with how we feel, but I had gone way over in the opposite direction. I would even say things like, "I am just not intuitive." But I am. So slowly I began to learn to listen to how I feel. It is an ongoing process.

The other day I had a feeling about something, and I didn't like it. But I knew it was true. I wanted to apply "logic" to it, but what I quickly recognized was as we would say back in the 1970's, a "cop out." I didn't want to accept the truth of my intuition, so I wanted to slip into what used to be old default, which is try to reason myself out of it. And I didn't allow myself to do it. I made myself accept the cold, hard fact of what I knew. And I'm moving forward with it.

It was a big moment for me, because I think I have sometimes (often?) hidden behind my intellect to keep from feeling my emotions. It was interesting and helpful to see it for what it is. I think the little child that we used to be still lives inside each of us. I wrote about the little girl inside of me here in Come Out and Play. I think the things I know intuitively come from her, from the wisdom of a child. I am listening to her more and more.

A while back, my dear niece sent me a picture of what she thinks is the little girl me. So here she is. Meet Little Susie.

Susan

The Bigger They Are, the Harder They Fall

"Few people have the wisdom to prefer the criticism that would do them good, to the praise that deceives them." Francois de la Rochefoucauld

The tone of the conversation was somewhat embarrassing, because the speaker was praising me way too much. Frankly, no human being is as awesome as he was making me out to be. I asked him was there some area in which I might improve, and he could think of nothing to offer in the way of constructive criticism. I got the impression that he was manipulating me for his own purposes.

I have found that sometimes the very person who lifts you up on the pedestal is the same one who later knocks you off. The higher you are elevated, the more devastating the fall later on. I didn't allow his comments to make my head swell. It is better to just walk around with both feet on the ground like all the other mortals, thank you very much.

Susan