Prison Break

"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself." Mark Caine

Biographies are my favorite kind of books. I love reading about what makes people tick and what makes them tock. The best tales are of those born in unfortunate circumstances, who find a way to overcome.

I was still in elementary school when I began to figure a few things out. The way I lived was not normal. My mother was mean, and probably crazy. While she said she was sorry I had ever been born, I was not the least bit sorry. And even though she blamed me for everything, it wasn't my fault. She was the problem. One day I would be able to leave, and my life would be different. So I did and so it is.

By that time plenty of damage had already been done. Decisions that I made later in life are clear evidence of my low self-esteem, a result of the verbal and emotional abuse I endured. I don't think my scars are all that obvious anymore. But if you looked closely, you would see some faint, faded lines where those deep cuts were once made. Those who believe that sticks and stones can break your bones, but names can never hurt you obviously didn't have a mother like mine.

At low points in my life, there has been a mocking voice that tells me I am nothing. "Just a piece of s***," as she was fond of telling me. Over the years, that voice has become quieter and I hear it much less frequently. It speaks so seldom and so softly now. One day I know it will be forever silent.

I had no choice about being born into that environment. I had no choice but to stay until I was of age. But I think in a way my break from prison had already begun, when I was in elementary school and began to figure a few things out.

Susan