A Fine Specimen

She was a single mom in her 30's. She had lupus, as well as other medical issues. She worked part-time when she needed to be working full-time, but her health limited what she could do. She was hoping to get better, or at the very least to get a stay in the death sentence she had been given. She just wanted to live long enough to raise her daughter.

At the time, she and I both attended an evangelical Christian church that looked at healing this way. God could heal you if he wants, but maybe it's his will for you to be sick. So pray, read your Bible, attend services, try to convert others to the faith and leave it at that. Go ahead and ask God to heal you, but don't count on it. There was also a subtle message that perhaps your unconfessed sin was preventing God from healing you. She made the rounds in her desperation to be healed. She sought the help of a Pentecostal church that taught it was always God's will to heal and only your lack of faith kept that from happening. They put oil on her and they put hands on her, but she didn't get well. She went away from that experience feeling guilty that she didn't have enough faith. She even found a group of renegade Catholics who performed an exorcism, because her illness could have actually been demon possession. That experience left her feeling somewhat icky and violated. If I sound irreverent, it's because I am.

Since I couldn't change a thing in her life, I tried to distract her. I would make her laugh. I would tell her jokes. I am a smart aleck, and I think what people love about me is I will actually say what everyone else is thinking. One of the many times she landed in the hospital, I went to visit her later that same day. She looked like death and I had never seen her more discouraged. We visited for a while. She told me she had to give a urine specimen, and I looked at the bottle of apple juice on her dinner tray, and had sudden inspiration. I guess you can guess what we did. We thought it was the most hilarious prank. Her color got a little better after that and at least for that evening anyway, all did not seem lost.

Who knows why bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to bad people and good things happen to good people? I think it doesn't even matter. Who knows why we are here in this time, in this place? I am no longer a person of faith, not in the organized religion sense of the word anyway. I know there is definitely a spiritual side to life and a spiritual side to me. And as for my friend? I do know I will never forget her. How could I? I think of her every time I drink apple juice.

Susan