Keeping Score

"A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others." Ayn Rand

I was a first time Little League mom. Naive, inexperienced and knowing next to nothing about baseball, I volunteered to be our team's official scorekeeper. It was an important job, because if you didn't have a scorekeeper, you forfeited the game. In the case of a dispute over a call, the scorekeepers were consulted and a final decision was made. The league provided one training session, then another more experienced mom sat with me until I became competent. It was a wonderful way to quickly learn the game of baseball. I kept a very tidy scorebook. Halfway through the first season, I knew I had arrived when the umpire turned to me and asked ME what the count was.

Scorekeeping was vital and I learned a lot about baseball, and I was more than happy to help my son and his team. However, the focus required, being cognizant of every at-bat and every play and recording it, caused me to enjoy the whole experience less. I couldn't chat with the other parents because it distracted me. I did have a bottle of water at hand, but forget the peanuts and Cracker Jack. I wasn't aware the sky was especially blue that day. I didn't notice that the boy over in left field was chasing a butterfly instead of paying attention to the game. I never knew that other cute little guy always screwed up his face and closed his eyes when he swung the bat. I could tell you that a player had struck out swinging, but I never saw how hard he tried. Certainly I knew that another had scored his first home run ever, but I didn't get to see the joy on his face. Keeping score accurately required focus and attention to detail.

In my own life today, I will miss out on some of the best parts if I insist on keeping score. I'll look around at other people and will always see someone not doing as well as me, and others who surpass me. What does it matter as long as I am being the best I can be, as long as I am moving forward? In personal relationships we keep score, too. We become concerned with who gives more and who doesn't give enough. We begin sentences with "You always..." and "You never..." We feel bitter and misunderstood as we sit hunched over the scorebook. While healthy competition can be fun, it's best just to play this game of life only trying to beat yourself.

Susan