Monday, April 15, 2013

Young

On Facebook, a friend shared a video her older granddaughter had made for her little sister's 20th birthday. It was a montage of photographs of the two of them together from the time they were babies, and was set to Jay-Z's song "Young Forever." It was lovely, and I know how much my friend adores her two granddaughters.

She had three sons. The oldest and the youngest middle-aged men now, the oldest one being the dad of her two granddaughters. Her middle son died when he was 18. She was sitting in the living room late one night, waiting for him to come home. Her house sat at the end of a dirt road, just off the main road. She heard a crash which sounded like it came from the main highway adjacent to her road. An accident. In her heart, she knew it was him, and she was right. He had been drinking, and just a week before he would have graduated from high school, he was gone.

It was May in Pennsylvania, but I remember being so cold the morning of the funeral. So cold. I can still remember the dress I wore, and I don't know why I remember that. It was a short-sleeved navy blue dress with some sort of a white design on it. I was so cold that I put a long sleeved turtleneck under it and my warmest, heaviest winter tights. And my winter coat. I remember sitting somewhere. Was it a church? Was it outside? Was it in a mortuary? I remember looking down at my shoes. I can't recall what the music was, or what was said. Just my friend's devastated grief, and my being chilled to the bone.

I enjoyed the video, but I found the song especially ironic and poignant, for there was an uncle who died before these two girls were ever born. He died young, and it seemed an especially cruel and senseless death, and for a while, it crushed his mother.

She healed. She did all the things she needed to do to get better, and to keep her other two sons healthy. It's been more than thirty years, and today she is healthy, beautiful, happy and vibrant. You would never suspect to look at her that she is over seventy years old.

And her middle son? I suppose in all of our minds he will always be young forever.

Susan

"Young Forever" written by Shawn Carter

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