Not Okay

They used to call us secretaries. We typed fast, took dictation and knew the difference between there, their, and they're. We made coffee and kept appointments, and if the boss didn't want to see you, we were a brick wall.

I didn't report to this man, but he and I worked for the same company. I was quite young, and he was married with a picture of his wife and three kids on his desk. He smiled at me in a way I did not like at all, and one day he and I were alone in the elevator, side by side. He didn't touch me, but for some reason I sensed his hand coming near my, if you'll excuse the expression, bottom, and I turned on him with icy rage.

"Don't touch me," I said, and he recoiled in shock. "Don't even think about touching me," I added, and he began to open his mouth to say something. "Don't ever even talk to me." The elevator door opened, and I walked out in front of him.

To say he was sheepish is an understatement. He never touched me. He never talked to me. I doubt he ever even thought about it. In fact, I would say that he did everything he could to avoid me. The thought did cross my mind that he might talk to my boss and get me in trouble, for it was the 1970's and I had never heard the term "sexual harassment." I suppose he could try to get me fired, but I didn't think about it long. But I knew that it was not okay.

That is my only brush with anyone being inappropriate with me in the work place. As the years went on, I would see that women would sexually harass men, and that is not okay either. Equally not okay.

I am able to write about my job because no one I work with knows I have a blog, and I am careful not to be on Facebook with any of them. Anyone who is Facebook friends with me can read my blog.

A new employee joined our company last summer, and he ran our warehouse. I sometimes interacted with him, but not much since he and I were in opposite areas of the store. From the start, there was something about him that bothered me, but I could not put my finger on it.

One day I was in the break room when some of the women who work with him were in there, and they began to talk about some of the smutty things he said to them. That is not okay. I time traveled back to the day I stood in the elevator with that other man, and my anger ran like ice through my veins.* This man was in authority over them, and some of these women are young enough to be my daughters and like it or not, I feel protective of them. I told them it is not okay and management needs to know. They didn't want to say anything because they didn't want to get in trouble, and they didn't think management would care.

I didn't say anything else,  but at my first opportunity that day I had a private word with the manager to whom I report and told him what I had heard. He asked me if I was comfortable giving him the names of the women who were talking, and I said I was not. He took it very seriously, as he should. Even if no one cares about the ethical aspects of it, the company should be very concerned from a legal liability standpoint.

A couple of months later, this man had given notice and quit. Then I was told by another woman (not one of the ones who was in the break room that day) that she had complained to our general manager about him a few months ago, the timeline being that she complained before I ever did. She was told that nothing could be done (!) unless someone else corroborated her story, so perhaps I was the one who did that without knowing that she had already complained.

Maybe he just decided to leave on his own. I don't know. I generally don't hear gossip, mostly because I choose not to be distracted by it. But I guess in time the true story will come out as to why this person no longer works at our store. I am simply glad he is no longer there to spew his vile words and pollute our workplace.

It is not okay. I know it's 2013 and I could assume that they know it's not okay, but someone needs to say it. The topic of this man came up again, yesterday in the break room, with a young woman and a young man who is quite charming and handsome. I told him it is not okay for a woman to speak to him that way; that sexual harassment goes both ways.

I said good night, and as I walked out the door, I heard my female coworker say, "Susan is so sweet." And I am. Except I don't think that guy in the elevator thought so. And that's a good thing. Because it's not okay.

Susan

* Edited: My anger ran like ice through my veins? Really? This made me laugh when I read what I had written, because ice is frozen and doesn't run. But I think it's more fun to leave it. But I still know the difference between there, their and they're. I do. Really.