Will

"Imagine what you desire. Will what you imagine. Create what you will." George Bernard Shaw

She asked me if I believed in a spirit world, and I said that while I am not a religious person, I know that there is a lot more out there than we can see or touch. That was all the encouragement she needed to tell me her story. She told me that she and her mother lived in an old house when she was a child, and she knew there was a ghost there. She felt his presence. She sensed him. She wasn't afraid of him. This past summer her father died unexpectantly. He was in his early fifties. Their relationship was unresolved. He and her mother never married, and he was in and out of her life. Never a person she could depend on. His sudden death caused her to feel guilty that she had not talked to him for almost a year when he died. She was sorry for her part in the estrangement. She is a young woman, not yet twenty, and the guilt is a lot of her to handle. It would be for anyone of any age. It is difficult to have someone die when you don't get to say goodbye, or any of the other unsaid things you need to say.

She felt him the other day. Her dad. Just like the spirit she felt when she was a little girl. He told her that he was angry for a while that she wasn't talking to him, but he's not mad anymore. He forgives her. He is in a good, happy place. He said he was sorry for all the times he was not there for her growing up, but now he will always be with her. Watching over her. He loves her.

"That must have made you feel so good to have that reassurance," I said. She had tears in her eyes. I said, "Maybe when people die, they leave us gifts, like an inheritance of money but better. Maybe what your dad didn't give you when he was living, he will give you now that he's gone. Maybe when he was alive, he couldn't or wouldn't give you what you need." Her expression was pained. "Sometimes," I said, "I think there's a really fine line between can't and won't for some people, the difference between being unable and unwilling."

I am glad she feels better. She is a lovely person with a quirky sense of fashion that matches her quirky sense of humor, and a very kind heart. She works hard putting herself through school, and had the fortitude to get herself out of an abusive relationship with a guy. She is a strong person. The kind of person who makes things happen for herself. The kind of person who is both willing and able to do the right thing.

She needed this, this communication from her father. She likes knowing he is watching over her, this spirit who is more present in her life now than when he was alive.

Susan