We as humans are social creatures. I enjoy solitude. I read somewhere the difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that the extrovert recharges his or her batteries by being with people. An introvert's batteries get recharged by being alone.
I am an introvert. That is something that often has a negative connotation in American culture. Parents whose children are introverted often worry about them. I am not "shy." Although I used to dislike small talk, I have come to understand that it is a beginning of a connection with another person, something I like very much. I don't dislike people. I love people. I just get worn out and need a little alone time. People who know me in real life know me as a cheerful, outgoing person. But still I am an introvert.
It was one of my days off from work, and a manager called to ask if I could come in and work a few hours that evening, since a colleague called in sick. I said yes, and when I got there, several of my coworkers were pleasantly surprised to see me. I wasn't on the schedule, so they weren't expecting me. But they were happy I had showed up. One of them even hugged me, and said, "I'm not so stressed when you are here."
I like to belong. Yes. Even introverts need to feel wanted and appreciated and know they belong. It is what we look for when we join service organizations and clubs and churches. It is what we look for when we move in together and get married and have babies. That sense of community, of belonging is crucial.
The great pioneer in psychology, Abraham Maslow, constructed a pyramid of what we need as human beings.
Working from the ground up, we will see that after our basic physical needs and safety are all good, next comes belonging. Do I have a place where I belong? Do I offer that sense of belonging to other people?
Susan
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