The Right to Choose

"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness." Anaïs Nin

Michele Bachman shared with the world that she went to law school because, as a submissive wife, her husband told her to, so she did. Some wondered if she became president, would she be following orders from her husband there as well? So she was asked about her submission, and she said that by submission she meant respect. Hmmmm. Really?

I am not a fan of Mrs. Bachman, her philosophies, religion or politics. However, it brought up an interesting question. Can a woman be a leader in the workplace, in politics, in the world in general, and be the follower at home? Of course she can.

We women have made amazing strides in achieving equality with men. The downtrodden, powerless woman has to submit. She has no choice. To be fully empowered, to have complete control over our choices, and then to choose to cede some of that power to a husband or significant other; now that makes authentic submission a true gift. A strong woman truly appreciates what it means to submit. She owns her power, she feels her power, she exercises her power, and then she gives some of that to the man she loves. We must be extremely careful, however. Power in the hands of an irresponsible, immature or weak man can quickly lead to abuse. Power has no moral will of its own, so we must be very discerning when choosing the right man.

We women today have a lot of choices. I live in a world that my grandmothers could only dream of. Some couples choose an egalitarian relationship. That's great if that works for them. Some couples choose to have the woman be the dominant one. That's great if that works for them. But no woman should ever be ashamed of not wanting to be the leader in her most intimate relationship. That's her choice.

Susan