You can read about my older brother here. At seventy, he defies what getting older is supposed to be like, with his amazing level of physical activity, his outlook on life and his great sense of humor. We have been emailing back and forth here recently, and in my email to him yesterday I used the word "egalitarian."
This morning, he gave me some of his wisdom and it's too good not to share. Here is, in part, what he told me. "Go with your gut. Be impulsive. Lash out at people. Watch lots of TV. Tamp down your intellect. Don't worry, be happy! Don't use words like egalitarian. Think shallow thoughts."
Then he added, "Ain't it great to have an older brother who can put things in perspective!" Yes. It sure is.
Susan
Showing posts with label egalitarian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label egalitarian. Show all posts
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Saturday, December 31, 2011
The Right to Choose
"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness." Anaïs Nin
Michele Bachman shared with the world that she went to law school because, as a submissive wife, her husband told her to, so she did. Some wondered if she became president, would she be following orders from her husband there as well? So she was asked about her submission, and she said that by submission she meant respect. Hmmmm. Really?
I am not a fan of Mrs. Bachman, her philosophies, religion or politics. However, it brought up an interesting question. Can a woman be a leader in the workplace, in politics, in the world in general, and be the follower at home? Of course she can.
We women have made amazing strides in achieving equality with men. The downtrodden, powerless woman has to submit. She has no choice. To be fully empowered, to have complete control over our choices, and then to choose to cede some of that power to a husband or significant other; now that makes authentic submission a true gift. A strong woman truly appreciates what it means to submit. She owns her power, she feels her power, she exercises her power, and then she gives some of that to the man she loves. We must be extremely careful, however. Power in the hands of an irresponsible, immature or weak man can quickly lead to abuse. Power has no moral will of its own, so we must be very discerning when choosing the right man.
We women today have a lot of choices. I live in a world that my grandmothers could only dream of. Some couples choose an egalitarian relationship. That's great if that works for them. Some couples choose to have the woman be the dominant one. That's great if that works for them. But no woman should ever be ashamed of not wanting to be the leader in her most intimate relationship. That's her choice.
Susan
Michele Bachman shared with the world that she went to law school because, as a submissive wife, her husband told her to, so she did. Some wondered if she became president, would she be following orders from her husband there as well? So she was asked about her submission, and she said that by submission she meant respect. Hmmmm. Really?
I am not a fan of Mrs. Bachman, her philosophies, religion or politics. However, it brought up an interesting question. Can a woman be a leader in the workplace, in politics, in the world in general, and be the follower at home? Of course she can.
We women have made amazing strides in achieving equality with men. The downtrodden, powerless woman has to submit. She has no choice. To be fully empowered, to have complete control over our choices, and then to choose to cede some of that power to a husband or significant other; now that makes authentic submission a true gift. A strong woman truly appreciates what it means to submit. She owns her power, she feels her power, she exercises her power, and then she gives some of that to the man she loves. We must be extremely careful, however. Power in the hands of an irresponsible, immature or weak man can quickly lead to abuse. Power has no moral will of its own, so we must be very discerning when choosing the right man.
We women today have a lot of choices. I live in a world that my grandmothers could only dream of. Some couples choose an egalitarian relationship. That's great if that works for them. Some couples choose to have the woman be the dominant one. That's great if that works for them. But no woman should ever be ashamed of not wanting to be the leader in her most intimate relationship. That's her choice.
Susan
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
I Can Save Myself
The knight in shining armor, preferably on a white horse, is a beautiful fantasy. There's nothing wrong with a lady being rescued by a brave knight. The strength of a healthy egalitarian relationship, however, is sometimes he saves you and sometimes you save him. What a gift when your weakness speaks to your partner's strength.
There are certain situations where only you can save yourself. It's romantic to think of someone else slaying the dragons, but when it comes to things like addiction or abuse, you are the only one who can do it. Support, help and encouragement are all wonderful, but really it's all up to you.
Are you worth saving? For some folks who have never really stood up for themselves in a definitive way, they might answer "yes" but feel differently in their hearts. Low self-esteem can fuel addictive behaviors and abusive relationships. It can be scary and painful, but really it's a gift when life backs you into a corner, your self-preservation instinct kicks in and you save yourself.
I recently heard from a brave woman who distanced herself from her abusive parent. She said she didn't feel bad about it. Well, of course not. That's because there is nothing to feel guilty over, and her lack of guilt is her reward for having the guts to save herself. She chose herself over her abuser. It's really the only decision to make, absolutely the right thing to do, yet so many can't or won't do it. I look forward to seeing what kind of blessings she receives since she made the pivotal and powerful choice to save herself.
Susan
There are certain situations where only you can save yourself. It's romantic to think of someone else slaying the dragons, but when it comes to things like addiction or abuse, you are the only one who can do it. Support, help and encouragement are all wonderful, but really it's all up to you.
Are you worth saving? For some folks who have never really stood up for themselves in a definitive way, they might answer "yes" but feel differently in their hearts. Low self-esteem can fuel addictive behaviors and abusive relationships. It can be scary and painful, but really it's a gift when life backs you into a corner, your self-preservation instinct kicks in and you save yourself.
I recently heard from a brave woman who distanced herself from her abusive parent. She said she didn't feel bad about it. Well, of course not. That's because there is nothing to feel guilty over, and her lack of guilt is her reward for having the guts to save herself. She chose herself over her abuser. It's really the only decision to make, absolutely the right thing to do, yet so many can't or won't do it. I look forward to seeing what kind of blessings she receives since she made the pivotal and powerful choice to save herself.
Susan
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