In-laws and Outlaws

"Take my mother-in-law. Please." Rodney Dangerfield

Over the next few weeks, families will be getting together for the holidays. It won't always be pleasant. I once had a mother-in-law, and now I am one. I believe it is my responsibility as the older, more mature person in the relationship to set a positive, loving tone with my daughter-in-law. She is more to me than my son's wife, although I would love and respect her for that alone. She is more to me than the mother of my grandchildren, although I am very grateful to her for giving me these three wonderful little blessings. She is a unique individual, a woman who deserves to be recognized and appreciated for who she really is.

Do you know the story of mother-in-law Naomi? She lived in a time when women couldn't survive without the protection and provision of men. Her husband died, then soon both her sons (her only children) died. She was, of course, grief-stricken. She also admitted that she was very bitter about her losses. She told her two daughters-in-law that she was going back to her homeland to live with her family. Naomi said she was too old to find another husband, and she had no more sons that the girls could marry. What use was she to anyone? Both her daughters-in-law wept and begged her not to go, but Naomi was determined. So Orpah kissed her goodbye, but Ruth stuck to her like glue. She told her mother-in-law, "Whither thou goest, I will go." So Ruth and Naomi set off for the land of Naomi's birth. They scoped out this awesome man named Boaz, and the older woman gave the younger woman some tips on how to snag him. (Kind of a cool story in the Bible's Book of Ruth.) And it worked. Ruth and Boaz soon gave Naomi her first grandchild. Ruth and Naomi were stuck like glue, and they stayed that way for the rest of their lives.

They both mutually benefitted from their relationship. Had Ruth not gone along with her mother-in-law, she never would have met the awesome Boaz. Had her daughter-in-law not gone along with her, Naomi would have never become a grandmother.

They stuck like glue, because they had a relationship that transcended their prescribed roles in life. Their relationship didn't end when the one person they had in common was out of the picture. It deepened and flourished and grew. The women in the village were very impressed and told Naomi, "Ruth really loves you. That girl is better than seven sons!" That was a huge compliment, given how prized sons were in the ancient world.

Ruth and Naomi are amazing role models for all of us in-laws everywhere. Wouldn't our families be so much happier if we could all have transcendent relationships, ones where we truly enjoy and appreciate each other simply for who we are?

Susan