Fence Me In

"Give me land, lots of land, under starry skies above. Don't fence me in." Cole Porter

Funny and entertaining, the piece I was reading was advice to men on how to attract women. How to be more alpha and have more game. The author counseled that you must make a woman feel safe, because she won't have sex with you unless she feels safe. Then he added, "Women are paranoid."

The first place I ever felt safe was at school. My first teacher was a no-nonsense kind of woman who smiled rarely. The other kids said she was mean, but I guess they didn't know what mean was. She was calm and consistent, rarely raising her voice. It was there that I learned a totally new concept: obey the rules and we don't get in trouble. It was wonderfully simple. The rules were few, and they all made sense to me. She didn't bend them, she imposed consequences for those who broke them, and I respected that. Even when someone broke a rule, she didn't belittle or berate or scream. Finally I had a small amount of power in my life. I could control whether or not I got in trouble (at school) by my own behavior, actions and attitudes. The rules weren't there to restrict me; they were there to keep me safe. In the safety of that environment, I soared. I learned so many new things that year, far more than just the academics. I learned that I was smart. I learned that I was good. Other kids chafed at the rules. I guess they felt fenced in and restricted. Or maybe they rebelled just for the sake of rebelling. I felt safe.

I still have no problem following rules that make sense. I appreciate knowing where the boundaries are. For you see, the safer I am, the bolder I become. When I feel safe, I show myself for who I really am. I take the most audacious risks. It's when I am safe that I can really soar. So, yes. Please fence me in.

Susan