The Process

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep, loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

She was five years old, and excited about her first dance class ever. Ballet. She had her tutu, and she would wear it around the house, dreaming of being a ballerina. Knowing that she had her first class, I asked her how it went. "Terrible!" she exclaimed. "They make you work."

Now I was the sort of parent who would explain carefully to the kids what was involved in a new undertaking, that it would be fun, but what would be required. I'm not sure if her parents didn't warn her that ballet class would be work, or if they did and she just didn't want to hear it.

We can get so caught up in dreaming about the end result, that we don't ask for counsel or listen to it when it's offered. I can totally relate to the little girl, because I sometimes wish I could have the result without the process. I want to just put on a tutu and instantly become a ballerina.

The process is work. Being a ballerina does not just happen. When she's performing, it looks effortless. It is like that with anything; isn't it? People who are really good at what they do make it look easy. And while it is probably easier for someone who has a natural talent for it, the process is a lot of work.

This little girl quit after a few lessons. Now I won't debate the wisdom of allowing your child to quit. Part of the idea of giving them these different experiences is so they can find out what they like and don't, although there is also a need for a child to learn how to stick with something long enough to give it a chance and experience some success.

I am going through something right now that has caused me to grow weary of the process. It's a lot of work. As is so often the case, when I write I am writing mostly to myself. I want the beauty and the thrill of the end result, but I've got to tell you: it's a lot of work. But I will continue on, as I think of my little friend and remember this. A tutu does not a ballerina make.

Susan