Crazy

Next month will be two years I've been working at my store. It was my first experience in retail, and soon after I started, I asked our loss prevention guy about a customer. She fit the profile of the typical American shoplifter; an older white woman, and she always wore a way-too-big-for-her rain coat. He laughed and told me that was Trudy, as if that is something everyone would know. Trudy is a regular. The rain coat, as it turns out, is because she had cancer and had a double mastectomy and she is ashamed of her non-reconstructed body. The thing about Trudy is, she talks way too much, to all the employees and to customers and to anyone who will listen to her. She is very random, as the young people like to say, because she jumps from one unrelated topic to the next. People think she's funny or weird or annoying or crazy. I like Trudy because she's crazy funny and not crazy mean. One day she told me all about why she wouldn't have breast reconstruction, and my eyes were kind of glazing over. When she stopped to take a breath, I said, "Trudy, don't you think breasts are overrated anyway?" Trudy hooted. The thing about Trudy is, she hoots when she laughs.

One day Trudy hollered over to me, "Hey, Susan!" from several feet away, and asked me if I had heard that the Kardashian mom was getting a second breast enhancement. The thing about Trudy, is she keeps up with all the celebrities. I answered, no I had not heard that, that I hadn't talked to Mrs. Jenner in ages. This made Trudy hoot. Then she became really serious, and said, "She's getting a second boob job. I'm just trying to stay alive." I smiled and nodded.

So some of us became concerned when Trudy went missing for a week, which turned into a month, which turned into months. No one seemed to know her last name or how to get in touch with her. One of our managers said maybe she went to visit her son in Texas. We knew he and his wife were expecting Trudy's first grandchild. She had despaired of ever becoming a grandmother, once she was in her 70's and her only child in his 40's with no sign of "settling down."  A couple of us thought that maybe Trudy died. She has a number of other health problems besides the battle with cancer.

Then one day, in walks Trudy, jabbering away in her usual way like she had not been missing at all. She looked at me, and I squealed, "Lazarus!" and Trudy hooted. One of my coworkers got Trudy's contact info, just in case she turns up missing again. We can check in on her. As it turns out, her daughter-in-law had some complications with the pregnancy, Trudy flew to Texas, and stayed until the baby was born. He is a handsome guy named Max and Trudy has pictures. Lots and lots and lots of pictures.

Now I am not concerned about Trudy out on the sales floor talking to employees; not my area. However, when she disrupts things up at the cash registers, I needed to do something. Folks seem to handle Trudy two different ways; allow her to monopolize their time indefinitely, or they rudely skitter away from her. I don't like either one of those approaches. The thing about Trudy is, she is very self-aware. It's like she knows she's random and inappropriate and crazy. So I thought the honest, direct approach was in order. And having her back after an absence, seemed like a good time to draw a boundary.

Trudy ended up at my cash register, and we were chatting as I was ringing her up. I admired her picture of Max, and said how good it was to see her again, and then I looked at her and got serious. "Girlfriend," I said, "you know I love you, but I have to keep the line moving all the time." Trudy agreed and thanked me, and she was off.

So it's been a couple of weeks since Lazarus arose. Since then; well now. I won't say that Trudy is any less crazy, but she seems to respect the fact that we have other customers to take care of. Yesterday she was in, and was at the cash register next to mine telling the cashier she had fourteen pictures of her grandbaby. Then she looked straight at me, smiled and then said to my coworker, "But I'll only show you one. I know you're busy."

Today I was walking on the sales floor, and "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" was playing on our Musak. There was Trudy, talking to who knows who about the dog beds, and her eyes met mine. As if on cue, we both began singing the chorus, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for..." We both smiled. It is nice to have her back.

Susan

"Crazy" written by Brian Burton, Thomas Callaway, Gian Franco Reverberi and Gian Piero Reverberi