Harsh

In most stores within my company, there is only one person who has my position. Our store is large enough that there are two of us. At extremely busy times, our shifts will overlap a bit. But most of the time, we work different shifts to have maximum coverage. My counterpart (CP) as management calls her, is a lovely young woman who is really good at what she does. We are in middle management at the store, sandwiched in between the associates and the upper management. There are five managers, human beings with various personalities, who also have their own ideas of how things should be run, which does not always coincide with stated company policy.

These managers take turns being the manager on duty, which means at that time he or she is responsible for backing us up. While my CP and I have a lot of responsibility, we have limited authority and there are occasions where we have no choice but to turn to a member of management. They all vary in how supportive they care to be. The least supportive manager (LSM) is so unsupportive that it would almost be better for us not to have her than to have to ask her for help. She and I get along well. She seems to think I am good at what I do, and she also seems to like me as a person. It is common knowledge that she does not feel that way about CP.

On many occasions, LSM has sort of thrown us under the bus so to speak. I try not to let it bother me, but the day last Christmas time that we were beyond busy, had a queue that snaked around the store, and I was being confronted by an angry male customer whose face was all red and the veins in his neck were all bulgy and he had this little spittle thing on his lip as he was turning his refund about a mirror into a personal attack on me, I would have appreciated her being a little more supportive.

So what to do about LSM? Speak with her about it? Go over her head to the general manager, who already knows what she is like? Suck it up and be resentful? Cry in the ladies' room? It is a tricky situation, because LSM used to work for another retailer, and she has brought in other people from that company. So having a problem with her could also affect my relationships with these people. We are all a team. Or at least that is what I try to work toward, and we all have to get along somehow. It is all very political, and I am not fond of politics.

One day I had not just one, but two new employees to train. I was doing this while I was performing all my other duties. We don't have any kind of formal training. The way we train a new cashier is in front of the customer. Watch me for a while, then let's have you do it yourself while I stand here, then way before the cashier is ready, we cut them loose. It is very scary, but it's how things are done.

So I was trying to divide my time between the two cashiers while doing all the other things that I was doing, and the LSM was my manager on duty. It was a stressful day, but truthfully it didn't seem especially bad to me. The next day the manager to whom I report (we'll call him VSM because he is a Very Supportive Manager) asked to speak to me privately. We sat in the office, and LSM was there as well, in front of the computer, muttering about the computer program.

VSM told me that one of the new cashiers I was training said I was harsh with her and she was embarrassed in front of the customer. VSM was visibly uncomfortable talking to me about it. It was not a formal reprimand or anything, but it was something that he had to speak with me about. I found myself in the odd position of feeling like I should make him feel more at ease as he was telling me about it. I asked if the new cashier had mentioned any specifics, and he said no, just that I was harsh. Both he and LSM sort of rolled their eyes, because harsh is not really an apt description of my personality. But I will admit that I do take my job very seriously. And when I become very focused on something, I can be short with people. I know that about myself. And sometimes I can be an immovable force. So I owned all this, and he relaxed quite a bit.

VSM went on to say that CP and I are very busy, and in a difficult position of trying to keep all the customers and all the cashiers happy, and he knows management has fallen down when it comes to supporting us. He said they need to take better care of the front end, and that all starts with taking better care of CP and me. He then said that if he is in the store and I need something, to let him know right away and he'll be up immediately. And if I am just too stressed and it's not a break time, just call him and he will come up and run things so I can walk away if I need to. I said thank you, and that I had not imagined I could do anything like that, since all the managers (and I turned and included LSM in my comments) have so much on their plates. He said that was what they were there for, so any time I needed more backup, I should let them know. Then I suddenly realized I had my opportunity! I turned slightly and looked directly at LSM and said, "LSM, would you be willing to support me and CP in that way, too?"

LSM said, "Oh! Absolutely." Then she went on to say how awesome I am, and we all had a lovely chat. I thanked VSM for bringing this to my attention, because I don't want any of my team feeling uncomfortable around me, and so on. I told them both that I would rely on them more, call them sooner rather than later, and just take some deep breaths and relax. They were all smiling and happy and VSM was glad this little talk he had to have with me was over. I thanked LSM again for being willing to help me.

So, as you see, I was able to address LSM's lack of support, in sort of a roundabout way. I got her to say it! I got her to say she would be supportive. Of both me and CP.  LSM is my new best friend. The next day, she walked up to me and spoke in a confidential voice. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?" I thanked her profusely and asked her for some red pens and she skittered away to get them for me. She came back all happy, an entire box (12! count them! 12!) in her hand. She told me how hard my job is and how awesome I am and how people don't understand how stressful it is and so on.

Then a few days later, our general manager told me that this cashier who called me harsh (CWCMH)  is "not really cashier material" (I would agree) and she is going to be utilized in another area of the store. I see her now and then and we chat, and she also visibly relaxed when she saw that I was not offended or mad that she had said I was harsh. Yesterday as she was leaving for the day, she caught my eye and smiled all big and happy, waving, "Bye, Susan!"

And the talk that VSM had to have with me? I could have been defensive, but I wasn't, because I know I can benefit from criticism, even if it sometimes stings a little. I am not always aware of how I come across, and if the cashier thought I was harsh, maybe the customers saw it, too, and it doesn't reflect well on the store and the overall experience our customers have. And it was totally worth it, because I got what I wanted from LSM.

Don't you just love it?

Susan