Rumination

"Decisiveness is a characteristic of high performing men and women. Almost any decision is better than no decision at all." Brian Tracy

Rumination leads to ruination. I want very badly to go back and delete that first sentence, but I won't. I am just going to leave it there, and I don't even know why. I actually dislike little cutesy phrases like that. I am kind of embarrassed that it even came out of my fingertips and on to the keyboard. But in an effort to be more and more real on my blog, I share with you, my reader, more and more of my weirdness. With only minor editing.

Earlier this month, Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema passed way. Her name sounded vaguely familiar (and not because we share the same first name.) Then I read her obituary and the light bulb went on. She wrote about the relationship between rumination and depression in women, back in the 1980's when therapy was switching from talk to cognitive. She said that women tend to overthink their problems, tend to ruminate, more than men do, resulting in depression. It makes sense, doesn't it? Keep thinking about the same problem over and over, and we're going to feel bad and sad.

While I am always skeptical of generalities about gender, she absolutely did her homework, so she probably has a good point. She said that men tend to respond to a problem with action. Trying to fix it, or getting angry about it, or getting together with the guys to play basketball.

And women ruminate. The old timers would call it "chewing the cud." Thinking about a problem and its possible origin is the first step. But to be happy and healthy, we must move on to the second step, which would be to change our thinking and find solutions. Take some action. It's when we dwell in Step One that we become ruminators.

I am not prone to rumination, although I have done it from time to time. I am a fairly action-oriented person, and I am more likely to slam into the wall trying to fix a problem than think about it over and over. You can sometimes find me in my neighborhood, walking fast or slowly jogging, occasionally breaking into a run, as I try to free the junk that's lodged in my brain. I have been told on more than one occasion that I "think like a man," and in this case, maybe that's true.

Nolen-Hoeksema was only 53 at the time of her death. She had a congenital heart problem. Which is maybe the lesson here, if there is one at all in my rambling post. Life is short. Too short to sit around thinking about our problems. Let's fix them or fix our thoughts and attitudes about them. Let's change what needs to be changed. Sitting on the fence is one of the most uncomfortable places in the world to be. Sometimes we just have to do something. Chewing the cud makes life a dud. (Cringe.)

Susan