Protect

It was not long after I started my shift at the store yesterday, when the phone rang and the caller asked to speak with our manager. Before I could connect him, he began to speak to me in that charmy smarmy way that some older (his voice sounded elderly) men do with women. I tried to keep the chat brief and professional, because I was simultaneously doing all the things I have do while speaking with him. He asked me if I liked the President (he called him something other than that) and I answered honestly, "Yes. I do." At that point, he became very nasty, proceeded to tell me I was rude, he would have me fired, he was a shareholder, and then he used the "f" word and called me some very unkind names and use some more profanity. At that point, I stopped speaking and he asked if I heard him, was I still there, etc. I allowed him to hear some of my complete silence, then I put him on "hold" where he would hear our music and asked the manager to take the call. My hands were trembling and my stomach felt sick. He was brutal. It takes a lot to shake me up, but that really did. As soon as she was finished with the call, my manager came up to see if I was okay. I really wasn't. Not at all.

As I processed it throughout the day, one of the thoughts I had was that I was glad I was the one to take the call, and not someone on my team. I wouldn't want them to be talked to that way. In fact, I always have my ears and eyes open even at the busiest times, and if I think a customer is mistreating one of my colleagues, I take a walk over to see if I can help. Usually just my presence calms things down. Or causes the customer to back down. It is not part of my job description, although they all know to call on me if they need help. Am I being a martyr? And do other adults need my protection? Do I feel unprotected and protect others as a way to compensate for this?

I am no super hero. I'm not even a hero. I have no cape. Although at work, I do wear an apron which could easily be converted into a cape. I can't save the world. Sometimes I struggle just to save myself. I don't want to be a martyr. They usually have very short lives.

Susan