Acknowledgement

"When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps." John Lennon

I had a conversation recently with a colleague at work. I am usually leaving for the day around the time she is coming in, so we work together maybe a total of three or four hours a week. She thanked me for the positive feedback that I give her and for the way in which I make her feel acknowledged. I was glad to hear that, because although I am sure I overlook many things, I try to do that on a regular basis with everyone. Occasionally I have to deliver negative feedback, and I hope the positive things I say provide a cushion of sorts. She also thanked me for the ways in which I advocate for my coworkers with management.

She then went on to say how the upper management of our store (I am in middle management) fails to recognize her achievements. And she was not wrong in her assessment. Our managers could do a much better job in giving positive feedback to employees. I listened to her without commenting for a few minutes, for it seemed she just needed to talk.

She told me that she would not toot her own horn. She was not the kind of person to draw attention to herself. But she didn't like feeling ignored. Then she told me that she had plenty of achievement in her life, and didn't need our store to tell her how great she was. But she wanted to hear some good things. It sounded to me like she was contradicting herself. Either you need the recognition or you don't. Apparently, she wants it but won't ask for it.

I told my colleague that after I had worked at the store a few months, I was unhappy at one point with the lack of acknowledgement, too, so I decided to ask for what I wanted, rather than wait for them to give it to me. I told her that around our store, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. And that I felt to point out an achievement was not being arrogant. She, however, is not inclined to squeak.

One of my intentions for the year 2012 was to ask for what I want and need. Of course, that had to be implemented at work, too. I remember the first time I did this. We had three new managers (we have a total of five) come on board at the store, and the first time one of them said anything positive at all to me, I jumped right on it. This happened to be the man who, after I was later promoted, became my immediate supervisor. He said something just mildly complimentary about something I had done, and I said, "Thank you, (his name), that is so great to get that kind of feedback. You know, I just thrive on recognition and praise." I had a big smile on my face, and he did as well, and he laughed as if he sort of didn't know what to do with that. He didn't know me that well yet. But guess what happened? He began to acknowledge more and more of the good things I was doing. He recognized me and praised me. I would also be very proactive in asking him questions, to make sure I was doing things right. I even pointed out places where I screwed up, things that he might have not even known about. Things I could have hidden, but acknowledgement goes both ways, right? We recognize the good and the bad. Word got around, and I began to receive acknowledgement from the other managers as well. I think we teach people how to treat us, and I began to teach the people I work with how to treat me. I think we can give others the opportunity to do the right thing. We can invite them to do so.

And you know what the coolest thing of all is? I began to see that I really do need to be acknowledged, recognized and praised when I do something good. There was a time my pride would not have allowed me to admit it, but once I started to get it on a pretty regular basis, I was thinking, "Yes! I need this. I love this. This motivates me." I do thrive on it.

So I try to be the person who acknowledges others, who really sees them and what they do and who they are. And I'm not going to get sad or mad when I'm not acknowledged. I'm going to continue to ask for what I want and need. Because it works. And I think maybe I need to set my alarm early one morning soon, so I can see that sun rise.

Susan