As a younger woman, I was very impatient. With myself, much of the time. With other people, some of the time. With events not happening fast enough, all of the time. I didn't enjoy the process. I just wanted to see the results. Now over time, I have developed patience, and some people who have known me for a long time have mentioned it as well. But I still struggle with it occasionally.
"I'm ready!" I would shout. "Bring it on! Let it come!" Now I believe that sometimes the reason we don't have something is because we haven't gone out and seized it. But as I have gotten older, I have come to wonder if one of the reasons why we don't get what we want, when we want it, is because we're not ready to receive it yet.
This Christmas, I gave my three-year-old grandson a puzzle called Alphabet Train. Letters of the alphabet and the most adorable animals. It is a good one for him, because it's age appropriate. It challenges him in a fun way. It doesn't frustrate him. He is ready for it. His older sisters have puzzles, and in fact his 8-year-old sister is a whiz at jigsaw puzzles. He isn't ready for one of her puzzles yet.
Maybe those of us who think of ourselves as "late bloomers" should consider this; that life is preparing us for whatever comes next. So that we will be ripe and ready for it, so we can enjoy it fully. So we will know what to do with it. Perhaps that takes some of the frustration out of waiting, and takes it from being something we do passively to a more active role. Can I relax and trust the process? Will I open myself up and make space for what belongs to me? It might be less frustrating and a better use of my energy to submit to and cooperate with the preparation process, whatever that happens to be.
Just because I don't have it right now doesn't mean it's not mine. Maybe I'm just not ready. Yet.
Susan
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