Inside Out

A group of us women were talking. All of the others were young enough to be my daughters. One of them said she is often told that she appears sad or angry or even intimidating, when her face is at rest. I didn't join in on this conversation, but I thought that sullen would be an apt description. She is actually a delightful person, and when she smiles her face lights up. When she becomes animated, she really shines. She just hasn't learned yet to let some of what's on the inside to leak out.

It is a fact that we women have more pressure on us to smile or look happy. To soften that hard face, to be more approachable. While it is okay, maybe even good, for men to have a serious demeanor, when we are serious we can be labeled as sad, angry, intimidating or sullen. One of the other women said, "Yeah, what are you supposed to do, walk around smiling all the time like a clown?" It really bothered our friend to be perceived this way, and even for those of us who don't care if people think we are the "B word," part of dealing with other people is being approachable.

For women in positions of authority, being perceived as the "B word" means that people tend to resist us. If we must be the ones to get things accomplished, to motivate others to get with the program, we sometimes need to let a little of our humanity out.

When I was younger, I thought that was phony. That I had to pretend to be someone  I was not. Actually, it's more about being authentic, because behind our faces all of us have something wonderful to offer the world. Why not let the inside out?

Susan

"Cold Hard Bitch" written by Nic Cester and Cameron Muncey