A River in Egypt

"I accept reality and dare not question it." Walt Whitman

Denial is not always a bad thing. It can be used in a positive way when we experience severe trauma. There are simply some things in life that are so awful that our brains kick in and protect us from it. Soldiers who experience post traumatic stress disorder may be jumpy, suffer flashbacks or nightmares, or they may have blank spaces in their memory. Those periods of time they can't recall are when the brain dissociates from the experience. Day dreaming during a boring lecture is a mild example of dissociation; an extreme example would be a complete break from reality, if only for a few minutes. Our brains protect us in the most wonderful way. Dissociation and denial are close relatives. If we truly comprehended how bad things were, we simply might not be able to endure it.

But in everyday situations, denial is not the way to go. It is only when we look at our lives for what they are that we can implement change. Sometimes we can do that alone; at other times, we may need the help of a friend or a doctor or a therapist. If we have been pretending or avoiding or living in denial, the truth of where we are can be a shock at first. But then we shake ourselves off, and say okay this is where I am right now, and what am I going to do about it? It takes courage to acknowledge the fact that something needs to change. I think if you are brave enough to see the problem in stark reality, you have what it takes to make the changes to improve your life.

Susan