Freedom to Choose

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Voltaire

Is it really a friendship? Or is it what my grandmother would have called a Mutual Admiration Society? A true test of friendship is when it withstands disagreement and disapproval. Have you ever watched a friend begin to go down a road that you were certain would end in disaster? You disapproved. I mean you really disapproved, as in shaking your head, wagging your finger, clucking your tongue.

The cowardly way out is to tell yourself it's not any of your business, that your friend is a big girl who can take care of herself, that maybe you don't have all the information. So you bite your tongue and hunker down while waiting for the inevitable train wreck. And you're there to help pick up the pieces, because that's what friends are for. I think it's more accurate to say that you don't believe the friendship is strong enough to endure the loving confrontation you know you need to have. It's not much of a relationship then, is it?

You disagree. You disapprove. You voice that concern in the clearest possible way. It doesn't change the friend's mind. She continues to live the way she believes best, and you're right there beside her. Still loving her, still supporting her, never agreeing but completely defending her right to live her life the way she sees fit. That is true friendship.

Susan