Promises

"Keep every promise you make and only make promises you can keep." Anthony Hitt

The mom had been threatening over and over to impose a consequence for bad behavior. Finally her four-year-old said, "Then do it. You say it too much." So the mom did. When she told me the story, I had to laugh a bit. At first glance it may sound like a smart remark, but really when you think about it, wasn't the child speaking her truth? The mother admitted to me that she doesn't always follow through. The child had definitely noticed that and even at her very young age, just wished her mom would stop talking and start doing. She also could have been crying out for limits. Pediatrician Dr. T. Berry Brazelton says that kids need discipline (not punishment, but discipline) and when they don't have it they become "frantic."

It is a crucial part of parenting to keep your word to the child. You can't threaten outlandish things you know you'll never do. But if you say there will be a consequence for unwanted behavior, you must make it happen. If you promise the child something fun, nothing short of your own death should prevent you from doing it. It's that serious in helping the child be secure and develop trust. It also causes the child to respect you, something that is nice when she's four and even more valuable when she's fourteen.

In business, we have written contracts. It's great to have things spelled out and to have all parties agree, to have recourse in the courts or in mediation. But a written contract is really only as good as the person's intention to perform. Have you heard the expression "he's a man of his word"? What a compliment! It says so much about character if we say what we mean, mean what we say and if we can always be counted on to follow through.

Susan