Defining Moments

I cannot imagine anything more terrible than having a child die. I was talking with a mother who had this happen to her, many years ago. She still misses him; absolutely. This tragedy changed her; certainly. She allowed herself to grieve, but she continued on with great courage. For a while, she belonged to a support group of other parents. This helped her, and I have no doubt she helped others as well, for she has a great deal of empathy. She told me that she eventually stopped going to the meetings, because she realized she had been wearing her son's death as a badge of honor. She decided that this was not going to define who she was. She was more than just a mother who had lost a child.

You know those labels you put on your chest at meetings? "Hello, my name is..." and you write your name in the blank space. Some of us wear those badges in everyday life. We allow an abusive childhood, a failed marriage, unemployment, illness, to define us. While it is true we are the sum of all the things that we have experienced, aren't we also a lot more?

Susan