Demons

She has a new, exciting but challenging opportunity in her life, and she seized it. I say to her, "You can do it!" because I am certain she can. But it is pushing a lot of her buttons. Have you ever noticed that? When we step out of the usual day-to-day, and especially when we start to get what we want, we also end up confronting our demons. That should not be surprising; right? It could be that her biggest demon is "You're not good enough." It is a common monster in many of our lives, or at least it seems that way to Susan. Not unusual at all.

She recently had a memory, one she had not thought about for decades. Her father would call her into the living room on Sunday afternoon, and he and the mother would be sitting there. Her mother didn't talk, but her silence conveyed to my friend that she was in agreement with what Dad said. "You are nothing but a disappointment to your mother and me." Now it's likely her father said other things, too, but this very ominous statement is the one my friend remembers the most.

I have never met her father or her mother; both of them passed away years ago. But she has told me a lot about her dad, and there was a lot of good there, too. He was a good man in many ways, and he gave her a lot. She says he made her feel loved and special and pretty, and all the things a little girl needs from a daddy. But this statement that she thinks she heard every Sunday, "You are nothing but a disappointment" is a big demon of hers. I told her that her father must have been a very powerful person in her life, perhaps the most powerful person ever, for that statement to have carried so much weight. She shared this with her therapist, who said it seems to have influenced many of the things my friend has done throughout her life.

"Your dad hung the moon," I suggested, when she told me this story, and she nodded and started to cry. I know my dad certainly did. He put it up there in that big, dark sky. "He was the first man you ever loved," I added, and I got tears in my eyes, too. "With that pure love of a little girl."

So she is confronting her demon of Not Good Enough. She knows what some of my demons are, and I told her I think of mine as Muppets. Monsters. Demons. Okay. But ones that are really not all that scary, once I get to know them. The thing is, I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to avoid them and run away from them, when they are just big, adorable, cuddly things with green and orange fur. And although they can be scary, I want to share a secret with you. They are really my friends. Yes. You read that right. They are my friends, and are just there to help me. If I will let them.

How about you? You have demons, too, if you are a human like me. Could you begin to visualize them as Muppets? Can you begin to sing this song? I'll sing along with you.

Susan

"Mana Manam" written by Piero Umiliani. Muppets created by Jim Henson. Some are property of Disney.