Phenomenal

"No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has escaped the kingdom of night." Elie Wiesel

We were catching up over lunch, as we do every few months. She and I have been friends for several years, and she has been through some of the changes in my life with me. Often, she will comment on how happy I look, or how well I have created a new life for myself, or the absence of what she calls "stress lines" on my face.

There we were, exclaiming over the pictures on her phone of her new grandson, when she stopped and just looked at me for a few seconds. "I am so happy we are friends, because you are such a phenomenal woman. You did such a courageous thing," she said, referring to my ending my marriage. I thanked her, wanting to minimize the courage that it did take me for my plan my exit and execute it, and feeling a little embarrassed at being called "phenomenal." I simply thanked her. I said, "It really did change me. It shifted everything. I valued myself enough to save myself."

She nodded and added, "And you're not bitter. You have reason to be, and you aren't." This kind of surprised me, because I honestly don't think I have anything to be bitter about.

And then it welled up inside of me, this feeling of gratitude that I so often feel. I shook my head. "Bitter?" I said to her. "I feel so, so lucky. So blessed."

That I do. I am one of the luckiest gals you would ever want to meet. Life has taken me to some dark places, yet I always have my light. It is wonderful just to be here. Happy, healthy and safe. Empathetic. Able to give and accept love. I laugh and cry and sing and dance. I am happy today, and I look forward to an even better tomorrow.

Just being here on this planet is something phenomenal, to use my friend's word. And maybe gratitude is the opposite of bitterness, or at least it is for me.

Susan