Choosing Love

"Do not seek the because. In love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions." Anaïs Nin

"We can't help who we fall in love with." She was defending a friend who had made a very poor choice in the type of man she is involved with romantically. I tend to agree that Cupid's arrows seem to fly in a somewhat random fashion. Now you can decide not to spend time with the person or live with him or marry him or have a child with him, so you have many choices to make. But sometimes love simply is. And a romantic relationship can be unhealthy and dysfunctional, but not for a lack of love.

Healthy parental love is unconditional. You love the child because he exists, because he is. Think for a moment of your family and friends, all the people you love. Now you certainly are able to readily enumerate all their great qualities. But you don't love them because they are wonderful. In fact, you are probably quite aware of their faults and shortcomings. The closer you are, the more intimately acquainted you are with their less lovable traits. You simply love them because they are and perhaps looking at them in a loving way you recognize more readily what makes them great.

Susan