Since they are, according to American Kennel Club registration, the most popular dog breed in America, it's likely you have known a Labrador Retriever. They come in three colors, yellow, black and chocolate. They are used as hunting companions and service dogs, and they have such an intelligence and an affinity for humans. They are large dogs both in size and personality. It is very difficult to ignore a Lab, and who would want to? They are good natured, happy dogs who love tennis balls, swimming, and pretty much just want to be anywhere you are. Labbies enjoy being in the midst of it all...in the center of the living room as you open Christmas presents, in the middle of the kitchen floor as you try to prepare dinner, in the middle of your bed if you let them. In my humble opinion, they are the best dogs in the world.
They aren't for everyone. They stay puppies for years after they are fully grown, 80 pound puppies (or more) to be exact, with tons of enthusiasm. They shed more than you would suspect, they are prone to skin allergies, ear problems and arthritis. They need lots of exercise, and could chew or dig out of boredom or the anxiety of not enough attention. If you like your house tidy and your life quiet, a Lab is maybe not for you.
Labs love life. They are good sports, are always up for the next adventure, and are patient with us humans. If you're like me, you need these Labbies to serve as role models in how to love unconditionally, live life fully, and die without fear when it's time.
Each day I try to be a better person, and any progress I make is in part to my Labbie Hall of Fame. Chocolate Lab Molly, and Jake and Peach, both yellows, are in my Hall of Fame. Forever immortalized in my heart. I was Molly and Jake's mom, and Peach's godmother. All three lived wonderful, long lives and I am proud to say that I treated all three of them with the kindness and love they so richly deserved. I don't mean to be arrogant; however, I am a great dog mother. But they gave me so much more than I ever gave them.
They were simply the best, and I was beyond blessed to have them in my life. Molly. Jake. Peach. My Labbie Hall of Fame.
Susan
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Disdain
"The older I get, the more disdain I feel for the human race," he posted on Facebook, referencing the horrible movie theatre massacre in Colorado. In his late 20's, he is at that point where he is no longer a kid, and the grim realities of life are disillusioning him. I know how that feels, for I went through that myself when I was his age. That unique cynicism of the young, where we have lived long enough to see some awful things, but not long enough to be able to put it into its proper perspective. I allowed him his feelings, for they are real, then I commented, "Most people are good. They just don't get the publicity that the others do."
I don't think the world is going to hell in a handbasket. It just seems that way sometimes. Go back in history and we can always find examples of man's inhumanity to man. It's not getting worse. But it's in our face all the time. We have the radio, television, magazines and newspapers that earlier generations had, plus the internet. We have computers in our homes and on our desks at work; why, we even carry little computers in our phones. The horror of all that is wrong with the world is at our fingertips 24/7. We watch the same images over and over, and it's as if it is happening time and again.
We know what is happening anywhere in the world right as it is happening, in real time. We Twitter and Facebook it, and I adore social media, but it has taken us out of our own little world and immersed us into everything that is happening at all once. It's hard to take it all in. It can feel overwhelming. If we aren't careful to manage it well, it can make us feel as though this world that we live in is a horrible place, and it's not. And if we feel that way as adults, how much more so do children when parents aren't careful about what they hear and see and watch.
The human race is no different than it ever has been. The world is a wonderful place, filled with mostly good people. They just don't get the publicity that the others do.
Susan
I don't think the world is going to hell in a handbasket. It just seems that way sometimes. Go back in history and we can always find examples of man's inhumanity to man. It's not getting worse. But it's in our face all the time. We have the radio, television, magazines and newspapers that earlier generations had, plus the internet. We have computers in our homes and on our desks at work; why, we even carry little computers in our phones. The horror of all that is wrong with the world is at our fingertips 24/7. We watch the same images over and over, and it's as if it is happening time and again.
We know what is happening anywhere in the world right as it is happening, in real time. We Twitter and Facebook it, and I adore social media, but it has taken us out of our own little world and immersed us into everything that is happening at all once. It's hard to take it all in. It can feel overwhelming. If we aren't careful to manage it well, it can make us feel as though this world that we live in is a horrible place, and it's not. And if we feel that way as adults, how much more so do children when parents aren't careful about what they hear and see and watch.
The human race is no different than it ever has been. The world is a wonderful place, filled with mostly good people. They just don't get the publicity that the others do.
Susan
Collateral Damage
The statue of Joe Paterno at Penn State has been taken down. The NCAA has imposed sanctions which include a fine equal to one year of gross revenue (not profit) of the football program, four years of ineligibility for bowl games, and vacated wins going back to 1998.
There are many people who will be affected by this in State College, Pennsylvania. People who personally did nothing wrong. Those young men who dreamed of playing football for Penn State will be living a very different reality from that of their dreams. Businesses will suffer because the economy in that area is dependent on the school. Some will likely find themselves out of work.
Collateral damage, like the loss of innocent civilians during war. It's unavoidable in this case. But the NCAA and its president Mark Emmert are not to blame. It's important, I believe, to remember who is really responsible for all the carnage. Jerry Sandusky and the people such as Joe Paterno who sheltered him.
All of our actions in life have consequences, both pleasant and unpleasant, for those around us. We can become cavalier in our atttiude that what we do only affects us, but that is never true. How we live impacts others in both direct and indirect ways. It goes against what we as Americans often believe. We celebrate the rugged individualist who does it his own way. Yet we are all in this together, whether we like it or not. And my life affects other people, in ways I can't even begin to understand.
Susan
There are many people who will be affected by this in State College, Pennsylvania. People who personally did nothing wrong. Those young men who dreamed of playing football for Penn State will be living a very different reality from that of their dreams. Businesses will suffer because the economy in that area is dependent on the school. Some will likely find themselves out of work.
Collateral damage, like the loss of innocent civilians during war. It's unavoidable in this case. But the NCAA and its president Mark Emmert are not to blame. It's important, I believe, to remember who is really responsible for all the carnage. Jerry Sandusky and the people such as Joe Paterno who sheltered him.
All of our actions in life have consequences, both pleasant and unpleasant, for those around us. We can become cavalier in our atttiude that what we do only affects us, but that is never true. How we live impacts others in both direct and indirect ways. It goes against what we as Americans often believe. We celebrate the rugged individualist who does it his own way. Yet we are all in this together, whether we like it or not. And my life affects other people, in ways I can't even begin to understand.
Susan
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Stand Up Guy
One of my favorite people is a Penn State alum. He loves my niece and makes her very happy. That alone would make me love him, but as I have gotten to know him over the years I also love him for who he is. He is funny, and any event becomes instantly more fun when he's a part of it. He has a Bachelor's degree and a graduate degree, and he plans to pursue his doctorate as well. So, yes. He is smart. But not just "book smart" smart. He is very insightful about people and situations and I always sit up and take notice when I hear something he has to say. He loves his kids, but just as important, he understands them and really takes the time to know them as individuals. He is what you might call a "stand up guy." And he's not alone. All over the country, all over the world, there are Penn State grads who have gone on to do great things with their lives. They should be proud of the education they got there, and they should be proud of who they are.
There has been a lot of good that is coming out of this horrible tragedy surrounding the school. Jerry Sandusky is in jail, thanks to the jury who made the right decision. Their ties to the school made no difference to them. There's Sara Ganim, the Penn State alum who first broke the Jerry Sandusky story. She's what you might call a stand up girl. The school dismissed the major perpetrators. There is a new football coach, a man from the outside. The NCAA is deciding what sanctions are appropriate. There is a great opportunity for Penn State to turn this whole thing around, to move forward, each step of the way doing the right thing. Each step of the way, saying never again.
I hope no one has buried their Penn State spirit wear, their tee shirts and caps and sweatshirts, in the bottom of a drawer or the back of a closet. There is no reason to be ashamed of being a Nittany Lion, to not proudly shout, "We ARE Penn State!", to allow the actions of some to define that image forever. That image can be changed for the good, forever a turning point where people begin to do the right thing.
The stand up guys. They ARE Penn State.
Susan
There has been a lot of good that is coming out of this horrible tragedy surrounding the school. Jerry Sandusky is in jail, thanks to the jury who made the right decision. Their ties to the school made no difference to them. There's Sara Ganim, the Penn State alum who first broke the Jerry Sandusky story. She's what you might call a stand up girl. The school dismissed the major perpetrators. There is a new football coach, a man from the outside. The NCAA is deciding what sanctions are appropriate. There is a great opportunity for Penn State to turn this whole thing around, to move forward, each step of the way doing the right thing. Each step of the way, saying never again.
I hope no one has buried their Penn State spirit wear, their tee shirts and caps and sweatshirts, in the bottom of a drawer or the back of a closet. There is no reason to be ashamed of being a Nittany Lion, to not proudly shout, "We ARE Penn State!", to allow the actions of some to define that image forever. That image can be changed for the good, forever a turning point where people begin to do the right thing.
The stand up guys. They ARE Penn State.
Susan
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Kitty Wells
She wore high necked gingham dresses, and even her stage name, Kitty, was ultra feminine. She didn't set out to break any gender barriers, but that is exactly what Kitty Wells did when she became the first solo female country singer to hit #1. "It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels" stayed at #1 for fifteen consecutive weeks in 1952.
She died yesterday at the age of 92, this woman who paved the way for artists like Loretta Lynn, Tanya Tucker and Taylor Swift. She is part of an exclusive group I think of as the First Woman To Ever Club. They are women of my grandmother's and my mother's generation, these ladies who changed the world so that my granddaughters can grow up knowing they can be anything they want to be, they can do anything they want to do.
Susan
"It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels" written by Jay Miller
She died yesterday at the age of 92, this woman who paved the way for artists like Loretta Lynn, Tanya Tucker and Taylor Swift. She is part of an exclusive group I think of as the First Woman To Ever Club. They are women of my grandmother's and my mother's generation, these ladies who changed the world so that my granddaughters can grow up knowing they can be anything they want to be, they can do anything they want to do.
Susan
"It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels" written by Jay Miller
Thursday, July 12, 2012
The Death Penalty
Twenty-five years ago, the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) cancelled the entire football season at Southern Methodist University. A number of rules were broken, the worst being that payments had been made to players for over a decade. The NCAA sent a very strong message when it shut down the program for the season, the death penalty in college sports, if you will. To date it is the harshest sanction ever given by the NCAA.
Today Louis Freeh released his report on the cover-up at Penn State. The late coach Joe Paterno, athletic director Tim Curley, university president Graham Spanier and vice president Gary Schultz are all clearly implicated. These men harbored, enabled and protected child rapist Jerry Sandusky. Powerful men there in Happy Valley, where Penn State football is practically a religion. Back in 2000, a janitor saw Sandusky rape a young boy in the showers. A Korean War veteran, the janitor had seem some bad things, but this sickened him. He spoke with the other janitors, and they all agreed to go up against the powers that be would be like "going after the president of the United States." The janitor feared losing his job. Freeh said at a news conference today, "If that was the culture at the bottom, God help the culture at the top."
Sandusky is in jail. Others may find themselves facing criminal charges as well. Our justice system is working, but there needs to be, in my opinion, a response from the culture of college football. An official response. There is nothing in the NCAA rule book about sexual abuse and rape. The rule book should be revised.
Before his death in January, Joe Paterno wrote a letter that has now been released by his family. In it he says that the rapes were not a football issue. Really? I wonder what the little boys who were sodomized in the football locker room showers by a Penn State coach would say about that. College football is big business. It lines pocketbooks and feeds egos to the point where some people think they are untouchable, above the law.
The Nittany Lions should get the death penalty. Shut the program down for the upcoming season, at the very least. Everyone involved in football there would then have lots of time on their hands, time to contemplate what happened, what went wrong, and how it can be prevented in the future. Allow those players with scholarships to play for another Division I team and get their education. It's a great opportunity for the entire college football community in our country to band together and do the right thing.
What was perpetrated at Penn State makes the shenanigans at SMU back in the day seem like small potatoes. If that school had its entire season cancelled, how much more so should the NCAA exact the death penalty on Penn State.
Susan
Today Louis Freeh released his report on the cover-up at Penn State. The late coach Joe Paterno, athletic director Tim Curley, university president Graham Spanier and vice president Gary Schultz are all clearly implicated. These men harbored, enabled and protected child rapist Jerry Sandusky. Powerful men there in Happy Valley, where Penn State football is practically a religion. Back in 2000, a janitor saw Sandusky rape a young boy in the showers. A Korean War veteran, the janitor had seem some bad things, but this sickened him. He spoke with the other janitors, and they all agreed to go up against the powers that be would be like "going after the president of the United States." The janitor feared losing his job. Freeh said at a news conference today, "If that was the culture at the bottom, God help the culture at the top."
Sandusky is in jail. Others may find themselves facing criminal charges as well. Our justice system is working, but there needs to be, in my opinion, a response from the culture of college football. An official response. There is nothing in the NCAA rule book about sexual abuse and rape. The rule book should be revised.
Before his death in January, Joe Paterno wrote a letter that has now been released by his family. In it he says that the rapes were not a football issue. Really? I wonder what the little boys who were sodomized in the football locker room showers by a Penn State coach would say about that. College football is big business. It lines pocketbooks and feeds egos to the point where some people think they are untouchable, above the law.
The Nittany Lions should get the death penalty. Shut the program down for the upcoming season, at the very least. Everyone involved in football there would then have lots of time on their hands, time to contemplate what happened, what went wrong, and how it can be prevented in the future. Allow those players with scholarships to play for another Division I team and get their education. It's a great opportunity for the entire college football community in our country to band together and do the right thing.
What was perpetrated at Penn State makes the shenanigans at SMU back in the day seem like small potatoes. If that school had its entire season cancelled, how much more so should the NCAA exact the death penalty on Penn State.
Susan
Monday, July 9, 2012
Where a Kid Can Be a Kid
Can I just come out right now and say that I love Chuck E. Cheese? The mouse (or rat?) and the restaurant. Their pizza is just okay, but the salad bar is awesome, and when the adorable stuffed critters come out on the stage to sing, well this grandma gets up and dances. My granddaughters are too old now for Chuck E., but my grandson is coming up on the age where it will be the perfect venue for his birthday parties.
There is one problem, however, and I would be remiss if I didn't bring it up. There are a lot of fights that break out at Chuck E. Cheese, and I'm not talking about the children. One happened here in southern California where I live not too long ago, and this past weekend there was an altercation in Pennsylvania, coincidentally the state of my birth. It happens so often that Chuck E. Cheese, the corporation, not the rodent, issued a statement about it.
This latest fight took place when a dad was having a birthday party for his son and his ex-girlfriend stopped by. I don't know if she brought a present for the birthday boy, but she did bring a knife and a brick. The ex-girlfriend attacked Dad's present girlfriend, and another woman (another girlfriend?) intervened and was bitten.
It makes me very proud of my family. We have been attending and hosting birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese since my now grown-up sons were little boys, and not once has the police ever been summoned. Not one time. Thinking about it makes me feel very classy.
Susan
There is one problem, however, and I would be remiss if I didn't bring it up. There are a lot of fights that break out at Chuck E. Cheese, and I'm not talking about the children. One happened here in southern California where I live not too long ago, and this past weekend there was an altercation in Pennsylvania, coincidentally the state of my birth. It happens so often that Chuck E. Cheese, the corporation, not the rodent, issued a statement about it.
This latest fight took place when a dad was having a birthday party for his son and his ex-girlfriend stopped by. I don't know if she brought a present for the birthday boy, but she did bring a knife and a brick. The ex-girlfriend attacked Dad's present girlfriend, and another woman (another girlfriend?) intervened and was bitten.
It makes me very proud of my family. We have been attending and hosting birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese since my now grown-up sons were little boys, and not once has the police ever been summoned. Not one time. Thinking about it makes me feel very classy.
Susan
Sunday, July 8, 2012
The Culture of Silence
"You appreciate the critics, but you wouldn't get up in the morning if you listened to them." John Deasy
There's a new sheriff in town. John Deasy. He just finished his first year as superintendent of Los Angeles Unified School District. The second largest in the nation, the district has a $6 billion budget, 65,000 employees and serves 660,000 students, 80% of them low income. To say the district is troubled is a gross understatement. Just think of everything that's wrong with public education K-12, and you'll find it somewhere at LAUSD.
Deasy has his fans, like the school board members. He has his critics, like the teacher's union. He's done some shaky things to try to get the district back on track, but someone's got to do it. He takes his job very seriously and is definitely hands-on.
I absolutely love something he did. Let me tell you about it. When he learned that one of the elementary school teachers had been playing "sex games" for years in the classroom, Deasy fired the entire staff of the school. Principal the whole way down to the janitor. He said he did it to break the "culture of silence." The message he sent was that every staff member at that school was charged with the kids' safety, and they failed. One person actively perpetrating evil, and everyone else staying quiet when they should have spoken up. Each person guilty.
Now as it turned out, no one but the teacher lost a job permanently. All the other staff members had the option of returning to the school or working elsewhere in the district. It was a huge statement, however. Deasy apparently takes the well-being of his students very seriously.
LAUSD has huge financial issues, so Deasy has established The Los Angeles Fund for Public Education for private donations.
Susan
There's a new sheriff in town. John Deasy. He just finished his first year as superintendent of Los Angeles Unified School District. The second largest in the nation, the district has a $6 billion budget, 65,000 employees and serves 660,000 students, 80% of them low income. To say the district is troubled is a gross understatement. Just think of everything that's wrong with public education K-12, and you'll find it somewhere at LAUSD.
Deasy has his fans, like the school board members. He has his critics, like the teacher's union. He's done some shaky things to try to get the district back on track, but someone's got to do it. He takes his job very seriously and is definitely hands-on.
I absolutely love something he did. Let me tell you about it. When he learned that one of the elementary school teachers had been playing "sex games" for years in the classroom, Deasy fired the entire staff of the school. Principal the whole way down to the janitor. He said he did it to break the "culture of silence." The message he sent was that every staff member at that school was charged with the kids' safety, and they failed. One person actively perpetrating evil, and everyone else staying quiet when they should have spoken up. Each person guilty.
Now as it turned out, no one but the teacher lost a job permanently. All the other staff members had the option of returning to the school or working elsewhere in the district. It was a huge statement, however. Deasy apparently takes the well-being of his students very seriously.
LAUSD has huge financial issues, so Deasy has established The Los Angeles Fund for Public Education for private donations.
Susan
Money is Not a Root of Anything
"Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and I." F. Scott Fitzgerald
If Mitt Romney is elected President, he will be the wealthiest President in our history. President Obama is a millionaire, but he can't hold a candle to Romney. These past few days as Romney has been enjoying his $8 million vacation home in New Hampshire, he's gotten some flak from even the Republican faithful. Incidentally, or perhaps coincidentally, Obama has cancelled his Martha's Vineyard vacation this summer.
We Americans are funny. On the one hand, the American dream is all about accumulating wealth. We want our kids to get good grades in school so they can get into a good college so they can get a good job so they can have a good life. Owning our own home used to be a privilege, and now it has become a right. That's part of what drove the credit crisis, this idea of buying a home before we could afford it. Then once we have the home, we need to fill it with large flat screen TV's, front loading clothes washers and dryers, and don't forget the two late model cars that need to be sitting in the garage. There is nothing wrong with money, earning it, saving it, spending it. Money is not good or evil. Money is merely currency, yet it seems that we all but worship it here in America.
So while we all are striving to become wealthy, those of us who aren't there yet have this odd, disdainful envy of the truly rich. I mean, really now. Shouldn't Romney be able to drive his grandkids around the lake in his boat? Shouldn't Obama be able to take some time off from what has to be a very stressful job to relax with his girls? And okay, I will admit that they usually take much nicer vacations than the average American family, but in the grand scheme of all the problems we have in our country, what does it matter?
They are both very rich men. They are different from me. I am good with that. I don't need them to understand me. I don't need their sympathy or their empathy. I don't need to hear that Mrs. Obama is shopping for dresses over at Ross Dress for Less, or that Mrs. Romney is visiting Supercuts every six weeks. That would do nothing for me. But come January, whoever is sitting in the White House needs to understand the very real problems our country faces, and needs to know how to work with the legislators to get us back on the right track. And if he can do that, then I say he is worth every penny of his $400,000 salary. And then some.
Susan
If Mitt Romney is elected President, he will be the wealthiest President in our history. President Obama is a millionaire, but he can't hold a candle to Romney. These past few days as Romney has been enjoying his $8 million vacation home in New Hampshire, he's gotten some flak from even the Republican faithful. Incidentally, or perhaps coincidentally, Obama has cancelled his Martha's Vineyard vacation this summer.
We Americans are funny. On the one hand, the American dream is all about accumulating wealth. We want our kids to get good grades in school so they can get into a good college so they can get a good job so they can have a good life. Owning our own home used to be a privilege, and now it has become a right. That's part of what drove the credit crisis, this idea of buying a home before we could afford it. Then once we have the home, we need to fill it with large flat screen TV's, front loading clothes washers and dryers, and don't forget the two late model cars that need to be sitting in the garage. There is nothing wrong with money, earning it, saving it, spending it. Money is not good or evil. Money is merely currency, yet it seems that we all but worship it here in America.
So while we all are striving to become wealthy, those of us who aren't there yet have this odd, disdainful envy of the truly rich. I mean, really now. Shouldn't Romney be able to drive his grandkids around the lake in his boat? Shouldn't Obama be able to take some time off from what has to be a very stressful job to relax with his girls? And okay, I will admit that they usually take much nicer vacations than the average American family, but in the grand scheme of all the problems we have in our country, what does it matter?
They are both very rich men. They are different from me. I am good with that. I don't need them to understand me. I don't need their sympathy or their empathy. I don't need to hear that Mrs. Obama is shopping for dresses over at Ross Dress for Less, or that Mrs. Romney is visiting Supercuts every six weeks. That would do nothing for me. But come January, whoever is sitting in the White House needs to understand the very real problems our country faces, and needs to know how to work with the legislators to get us back on the right track. And if he can do that, then I say he is worth every penny of his $400,000 salary. And then some.
Susan
Seventeen
A few months ago, fourteen year-old Julia Bluhm gathered signatures on a petition asking Seventeen magazine to feature one photograph in each issue that is not photoshopped (retouched, airbrushed, etc.) Her concern was that young women reading that magazine were being adversely affected by all the unattainable perfection. I wrote about it here.
At first, the magazine turned her down. But now Seventeen has relented. Yay! for the magazine. Yay! for Bluhm! Yay! for every woman loving her body in all its wonder.
Susan
At first, the magazine turned her down. But now Seventeen has relented. Yay! for the magazine. Yay! for Bluhm! Yay! for every woman loving her body in all its wonder.
Susan
Friday, July 6, 2012
Your Friday Earworm
From one of my favorite bands, The Offspring. Enjoy!
Susan
"Pretty Fly for a White Guy" by Dexter Holland
Susan
"Pretty Fly for a White Guy" by Dexter Holland
Thursday, July 5, 2012
The Thrill is Gone
We all know that we have a high divorce rate in the United States. I myself am one of those statistics, and although my seeking a divorce has moved my life forward in a very positive way, in a perfect world I would have preferred to stay married to one man for my entire life. So how do we fix this problem? Arranged marriages. Here in America, we base our marriages on something called romantic love. We marry when infatuation and sexual excitement are at a high, often not knowing or understanding our mate as we should, and then the thrill is gone. That feeling is not sustainable for the long run. We also marry without doing any due diligence, without any real counseling, because that just doesn't seem romantic. So what is the answer? Arranged marriages. Arranged marriages equal a very low divorce rate.
There is a wonderful article in today's edition of The Los Angeles Times by Mark Magnier and Tanvi Sharma. In India, where 90% of the marriages are arranged, parents more and more are using private investigators in the vetting process.
Who better to choose the perfect mate for our children than us as mothers and fathers? We know our kids very well. We have enough life experience to know what to look for, to see the red flags. We also want the very best for our adult kids. We don't want to see them hurt, taken advantage of, abused or abandoned. So the young people should just sit back and relax and let Mom and Dad take care of it. We accept applications, look at resumes, administer tests, interview, run background checks and then to allow the kids to have some sense of control, we narrow it down to maybe three finalists. Any of those three people would work for us, so we let our son or daughter choose one of those. It could be like when they are little, and it's chilly outside, so we tell them they need to wear something warm. Then we say, you can choose. Would you like to wear your red jacket, your white hoodie or your blue sweater? Give them a choice.
So maybe it isn't romantic, not to us as Americans. Maybe at first there are no sparks that fly. But I say put them in an apartment together, and sooner or later the hormones will kick in. Chemistry is not that hard to come by. Then as they get to know each other, they will sooner or later fall "in love." The thrill is gone really sucks. How much better to start out slow, and then one day they realize that the thrill is here!
Susan
There is a wonderful article in today's edition of The Los Angeles Times by Mark Magnier and Tanvi Sharma. In India, where 90% of the marriages are arranged, parents more and more are using private investigators in the vetting process.
Who better to choose the perfect mate for our children than us as mothers and fathers? We know our kids very well. We have enough life experience to know what to look for, to see the red flags. We also want the very best for our adult kids. We don't want to see them hurt, taken advantage of, abused or abandoned. So the young people should just sit back and relax and let Mom and Dad take care of it. We accept applications, look at resumes, administer tests, interview, run background checks and then to allow the kids to have some sense of control, we narrow it down to maybe three finalists. Any of those three people would work for us, so we let our son or daughter choose one of those. It could be like when they are little, and it's chilly outside, so we tell them they need to wear something warm. Then we say, you can choose. Would you like to wear your red jacket, your white hoodie or your blue sweater? Give them a choice.
So maybe it isn't romantic, not to us as Americans. Maybe at first there are no sparks that fly. But I say put them in an apartment together, and sooner or later the hormones will kick in. Chemistry is not that hard to come by. Then as they get to know each other, they will sooner or later fall "in love." The thrill is gone really sucks. How much better to start out slow, and then one day they realize that the thrill is here!
Susan
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
All the Way
Headed out to grocery shop, I intended to go to one store but at the last minute chose another one. Am I ever glad I did! As I walked in the store, one of the employees was pushing a cart out for two elderly lady customers, and he was singing a capella in the most amazing voice. It was the last several lines of "All the Way." I stopped in my tracks to watch and listen. When he was done, there was nothing and then I yelled "Woo Hoo!" and started clapping. Others joined in.
It was the most wonderful moment of joy that pretty much made my day. The man is very talented, his singing voice absolutely beautiful. Yet it was more than that. It could have been just another trip to the grocery store for us shoppers. It could have been just another day at work for him, yet he turned it into something magical for all of us.
"All the Way" written by Jimmy Van Heusen and Sammy Cahn
It was the most wonderful moment of joy that pretty much made my day. The man is very talented, his singing voice absolutely beautiful. Yet it was more than that. It could have been just another trip to the grocery store for us shoppers. It could have been just another day at work for him, yet he turned it into something magical for all of us.
"All the Way" written by Jimmy Van Heusen and Sammy Cahn
Monday, July 2, 2012
Holidays for Heroes
I wrote about the wonderful holiday my younger son and I enjoyed on the Massachusetts island of Nantucket here. In September, through the generosity of some wonderful folks, there will be a celebration of our military heroes on the island.
It's difficult for me to think about the Fourth of July and not remember those brave men and women who have served our country down through the years. One of the positive things that has come out of the horrible 9/11 tragedy is that we as a country seem to have a new and greater appreciation for our active duty military and our veterans. It's not easy transitioning to civilian life when we are whole and healthy, and it's even more of a challenge for those who have been wounded.
Holidays for Heroes is a wonderful way to say thank you, we appreciate you, we love you, we support you as you have supported us. I invite you to visit their website.
Susan
It's difficult for me to think about the Fourth of July and not remember those brave men and women who have served our country down through the years. One of the positive things that has come out of the horrible 9/11 tragedy is that we as a country seem to have a new and greater appreciation for our active duty military and our veterans. It's not easy transitioning to civilian life when we are whole and healthy, and it's even more of a challenge for those who have been wounded.
Holidays for Heroes is a wonderful way to say thank you, we appreciate you, we love you, we support you as you have supported us. I invite you to visit their website.
Susan
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Yankee Doodle Dandy
When I was a little girl, I learned the song about Yankee Doodle. You know the one, with the pony and the feather and the macaroni. Children today still sing this song, especially as we approach the Fourth of July, Independence Day here in America. The term comes from an old British folk song. The colonists were called Yankees, and the term "doodle" meant fool or simpleton. During the Revolutionary War, the British soldiers would mock the American soldiers and call them Yankee Doodles. Instead of allowing it to hurt their feelings for long, the colonists embraced it and became proud of it. We Americans have been Yankee Doodles every since.
It's ironic to me that some of us Americans are so cruel to foreigners, so eager to deport people, when most of us (with the exception of Native Americans) are from immigrant stock. Someone, somewhere, at sometime in our history came to this country from somewhere else. Were they mocked because of how they spoke? Probably. Did they struggle to learn the ways of this new land, this different culture? I imagine they did. Yet their hope and courage was greater than any obstacle they had to face.
Our diversity is what makes America so unique. Where else in the world can we find such a mix of different people? We are at our worst when we are arrogant. When we mistake pride for patriotism, when we think we are better than others, that our way is the best way, that everyone should be just like us. Sometimes that arrogance blinds us to seeing that other nations have some really good things that we would be wise to adopt, even if we have to tweak it a bit to make it work for us.
We are at our best when we remember that we are all just a bunch of Yankee Doodles, simply Americans whose hope and courage are greater than any obstacle we have to face.
Have a wonderful Fourth.
Susan
"Yankee Doodle Dandy" written by George M. Cohan. Performed in this video by James Cagney.
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