Meet the Bickersons

You may have known a couple just like them. They are usually married, and for a long time. They are the perfect illustration of that old saying that familiarity breeds contempt. A verbal jab here, a sarcastic comment there. Heavy sighs and rolling eyes. They pick at each other like a couple of spoiled kids. I'm sure you've heard of them. They are the Bickersons.

Now maybe underneath all that nastiness, they adore each other. But they have a really weird way of showing it. Isn't it interesting how we can be so courteous, kind and respectful to strangers, but treat the ones we are closest to the worst? I think simple respect is lacking in a lot of relationships with spouses and significant others.

There is a popular book out that I have not read, but a few people I know have told me about it. The premise is that the primary need of a woman is to be loved, and the primary need of a man is to be respected. I know what it is like to be loved and not respected. That subtle and then not so subtle contempt that creeps into a relationship that lacks one of the basic foundational elements: respect. As a woman, if I had to choose between being loved and being respected, I would take respect every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Every once in a while, I think we all need to take an inventory of our relationships with the people we love the most, just to make sure we are giving our best to the ones we say we love the best.

Susan