When Love is Not Enough

She wrote, "I am so sad that love is not enough. I would have given anything for things to be different." After more than a decade of marriage, she and her husband are going their separate ways. She had asked for the divorce. They have no children, and they are being very reasonable about the financial aspects, so it is a very civilized and almost friendly split. Family and friends are shocked, because they seemed to love each other so much. Her mother refuses to speak to her. His mother cries constantly. If love was all that is needed to make a good marriage, these two would have it nailed. They still love each other, evidenced by the gentleness and consideration they are showing in the divorce proceedings.

We seem to want salacious details when folks break up. Was she cheating on him? Was he slapping her around? Did they no longer love each other? They had basic incompatibility on an important core issue, and it was never going to change. They had been in therapy separately and together. They had talked and compromised and modified their behavior, but at the end of the day, he could not change who he was, and she could not change who she was. They had come to the conclusion that for each one of them to find happiness and acceptance for who they are, they needed to end the marriage and move on.

You can be in love. You can want it to work, more than anything. Sometimes it simply doesn't. No villains. No heroes. Just two human beings who did the best they could.

Susan

"Anything, Anything" written by John Easdale