Superhero Back At Supermarket

I wrote about Super Ryan here. Safeway has reinstated him with back pay.

Susan

Super Bowl Sunday

Tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday, that unofficial holiday where Americans celebrate that uniquely American sport, football. It's a day of food and comradery and really creative television commercials. It's also a day where incidents of domestic abuse spike.

Picture this. They are fighting inside their mobile home. He is wearing a white tank aptly named a "wife beater." With a cigarette dangling from his lips and a can of beer in his hand, he bellows at his barefoot, pregnant little wife. She backs away to avoid yet another blow. It's a stereotype, my friends. This image distracts us from the reality of abuse. The reality is this: it's not always physical. It affects straight and gay couples. It respects no socio-economic boundaries. Women are perpetrators just as truly as men are.

Abuse thrives in secrecy and shame. We as a nation have failed to shine a bright light on it. We have failed to educate the public. We have failed to provide a safety net for those who need it.

Abuse is not about physical violence, although violence can play into it. It's about control. Abuse is cyclical. It typically has three components: 1. the abuse 2. a honeymoon period, with sweetness, apologies and improved behavior 3. a relatively calm period. Then it starts all over again, spinning in endless circles. Abuse is cunning. If the abuser were awful all the time, the victim would be gone very early on. But sometimes the abuser is really wonderful, and it's those times the victim holds on to. That's what pulls the victim in even more tightly. That's what really gives the abuser control.

I enjoy football. I learned to love it when my younger son played in high school. It is a violent sport, but I don't think all violence is bad. I am working tomorrow, but I will catch a little of the Super Bowl. The commercials are my favorite part. Wouldn't it be great if one of those commercials would be a public service announcement about domestic abuse?

Susan

It's All About the Egg Shells

Wall-to-wall carpeting in homes was very chic when I was growing up in the 60's and 70's. A few years ago, a friend purchased an older home with carpeting, and when she had it pulled up found that the most gorgeous hardwood floors were underneath. She soon restored them and had them gleaming. "Why would anyone want to put carpet over those floors?" she asked in genuine disbelief.

In some homes, the decor is all about the egg shells. One family member generally comes up with the bright idea to use egg shells as flooring, but sometimes enlists the aid of another member to help put them down. The floor is covered end to end with egg shells. Everyone must be very, very careful as they tiptoe on the egg shells. Creativity is discouraged. Intimacy is stifled. Love is most certainly conditional. Feelings and emotions are not expressed, unless it's the feelings and emotions of the one responsible for the egg shells. The really difficult thing about living this way is that no matter how careful we are, sooner or later we are going to crack some shells. Then all hell breaks loose. After a while, things may calm down, and we remind ourselves to be very, very, very careful. Until the next time it happens.

Why not get rid of all those egg shells and discover the gorgeous life waiting for us underneath?

Susan