The Riddler

"He must be very ignorant, for he answers every question he is asked." Voltaire

I love super heroes, and Batman is my favorite, hands down. I don't know why I love him like I do. Who can explain love, really? It might be because the 1960's television series starring the very dashing Adam West was a favorite show of mine when I was a little girl. The villains in Batman are great, too. The Joker and Catwoman, and how about The Riddler? He wore that cool green onesie with the question marks all over it. He would warn Gotham City police and Batman ahead of time of his crimes, in the form of complex riddles. The Riddler is cool. And riddles are fun. But not in every day communication.

She loved to ask questions. It was her main form of communication. She tended to be passive aggressive. You know the type. Smiling sweetly on the outside, smoldering subterfuge on the inside. She was my family's version of the Riddler. She did it to everyone, so it wasn't just some weird dynamic between the two of us. I caught on early in our relationship that when she asked a question, she was actually making a statement. And it was up to everyone around her to figure out the complex riddle and give her what she wanted. It did not go well if you came up with the wrong answer to the riddle, either. Here's a classic example of how my Riddler operated, from the earliest days of our relationship. She never called me to chat, only if she wanted something.

(Landline phone pre-caller ID days. Phone rings: ding a ling a ling.)
Me: Hello.
Riddler: Do you guys have the flu? (whiny sad voice, no "hello" first)
Me: No. We are all healthy.
(Pause.)
Riddler: Oh.
(Another pause to allow me further time to solve the riddle)
Me: Do YOU have the flu?
Riddler: Yes! I have been so sick...

I know it can be difficult for some to ask for what they want or need. I know that some were raised in families where being direct was frowned upon. I know that women of this Riddler's generation can be a little coy and think it's feminine. I know. I know. I know. Over the years, I tired of the Riddler's game. And it is a game. So I began to answer her questions very simply. She became quite frustrated with me when I no longer played along. It was no great loss; there were plenty of other people for the Riddler to riddle.

My Riddler passed away a few years ago, but I still find myself stinging from the experience. I am a little overly sensitive, I suppose, to the passive aggressive riddles. It is a lot of work to try to put all the clues together, to read between the lines, to interpret tone of voice, to guess at what those Riddlers really want from me. When a Riddler starts to riddle me, maybe I should riddle her back with, "Is there something you want to say to me?"

And now I have a riddle for you. Why does Snoop Dogg need a raincoat?
Fer drizzle.

Susan