If a Tree Falls in the Forest...

"Who hath ears to hear, let him hear." Matthew 13:9 (King James Version Bible)

Communication is an art. It involves choice of words, tone of voice, eye contact, body language, and sometimes touch. Communication is both what you say and how you say it. Some folks who call themselves brutally honest seem to enjoy the brutal part a little too much. The flip side is that many women my age and older grew up in a time where little girls were discouraged from speaking in a direct way. It wasn't considered feminine. It was also not thought very romantic to ask for what you want or need, so we have the dilemma of a man feeling as though he must read the lady's mind. Some of what appears to be passive-aggressive behavior or even deception on the part of older women can be attributed to a degree to the way we were socialized. That's not an excuse, for we can always learn healthier ways to communicate.

My friend was telling me about when she was raped by a friend of her family. She was just a little girl of six, and she told her mom about it. She said, "My mother couldn't hear it." In Matthew's gospel narrative, he implies that some people have ears but cannot or will not hear. At first glance, it would seem that the whole point of communicating is to be heard.

You know that old question, about the tree falling in the woods. Does it still make a sound if there's no one to hear it? Is truth still truth if no one believes it? Are your words worth speaking, even if no one hears them?

In the past, I have been too concerned about how my words will be received, so I would craft my message being very aware of who the listener will be. I tended to soften the truth a bit, or leave something out, if I believed the person needed to be handled carefully. How condescending of me. Sometimes I have remained silent when I had something worthwhile to say, because I believed no one wanted to hear it. The spoken word has so much power and energy, and we all need to say what we need to say. It is my primary role in communicating to speak the truth, and it is up to the listener to hear it or not, then to do with it whatever he will. What happens after I say it is really none of my business.

I don't know about the tree in the woods, but I do know this. Truth is still truth even if no one believes it. And what comes out of my mouth is a reflection of my own integrity (or lack thereof) even if no one hears it.

Susan