It was a wonderful box of Christmas magic, these gifts that had traveled across the country from my niece and her family to me. One of the presents was a teddy bear with a tee shirt on that says, "You are amazing." My ten-year-old grandniece chose it for me, and her mom said, "It never occurred to her that you might be too old for a teddy bear." We were chatting on Facebook, and I typed, "I am not too old for a teddy bear." I must have hit the button twice, because that sentence came out twice. I don't think I meant to do that. Or did I? My niece said I did, because it's a mantra. I am not too old...I am not too old...
When we want to argue for our limitations, being too old is a very convenient excuse. And surprisingly, other people, especially younger ones, won't even bother to call us out on it. If we say we are too old, the universe agrees with us. Part of the reason I am here on this planet, I believe, is to experience as much as I possibly can. Experience. Embrace. Enjoy. The other reason is to become self-actualized, to be everything I possibly can be. That will involve breaking old, destructive habits and changing for the better.
My age of 54 is the best age ever. I am more adventurous and less self-conscious than I was when I was younger. I also have experienced failure (two significant ones, the failure of my marriage and the failure of a business I owned) to know that failing doesn't mean I am a failure. That failure won't kill me. That sometimes the most surprising, wondrous gifts life can bring come out of disappointing failures. Really, I have absolutely no excuse not to live life fully and be all that I can be.
What about you? What are you too old for?
Susan
Showing posts with label age. Show all posts
Showing posts with label age. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Truth In All Things
"Be curious, not judgmental." Walt Whitman
Lately I have been aware of how judgmental I can be of others. One of my intentions for this year is "truth in all areas of my life." On New Year's eve when I stated this, I understood that having truth would at times make me uncomfortable. Seeing the truth about myself sometimes makes me squirm.
The first day of the semester at college, it was almost time for class to start and we were sitting there waiting. A middle-aged woman entered the classroom and looked around. "Oh my god," she exclaimed loudly, "I knew I would be the oldest one!" I responded, "I bet I'm older than you." She laughed and said, "No. You're not." I replied, "I'm 52." She said, "You ARE older than me." From time to time throughout the semester, I have heard her make self-deprecating remarks about her age.
This week she had a question for the professor. She started out by saying, "My daughter's son..." The professor looked puzzled for a moment, then asked, "Your grandson?" She replied that yes, he was her grandson but she doesn't like to call him that because she doesn't want to be a grandmother. Grandmothers are old. I had to turn away because I didn't want my face to betray my judgmental thoughts. You see, I am very proud of being a grandmother and want to shout it from the rooftops. When my grandchildren address me as Grandma, my heart does these little flips. I cannot fathom how anyone could possibly not be bursting at the seams just to be a grandma. I was judging her, because she is different from me in this respect.
Curiosity about differences is healthy. No one needed to wonder why she would not call her daughter's son her grandson, because she had already given us abundant evidence that she is uncomfortable with her age. She needs acceptance and kindness, not judgment. The problem is, when I judge I am not in a frame of mind to be accepting or kind. Judgment is a harsh emotion.
I smiled at her as we were filing out of class. I found myself thinking, "If she would update her hair and her makeup and her clothing, she would look much younger." I guess I still have a lot of work to do in this area. And that's the truth.
Susan
Lately I have been aware of how judgmental I can be of others. One of my intentions for this year is "truth in all areas of my life." On New Year's eve when I stated this, I understood that having truth would at times make me uncomfortable. Seeing the truth about myself sometimes makes me squirm.
The first day of the semester at college, it was almost time for class to start and we were sitting there waiting. A middle-aged woman entered the classroom and looked around. "Oh my god," she exclaimed loudly, "I knew I would be the oldest one!" I responded, "I bet I'm older than you." She laughed and said, "No. You're not." I replied, "I'm 52." She said, "You ARE older than me." From time to time throughout the semester, I have heard her make self-deprecating remarks about her age.
This week she had a question for the professor. She started out by saying, "My daughter's son..." The professor looked puzzled for a moment, then asked, "Your grandson?" She replied that yes, he was her grandson but she doesn't like to call him that because she doesn't want to be a grandmother. Grandmothers are old. I had to turn away because I didn't want my face to betray my judgmental thoughts. You see, I am very proud of being a grandmother and want to shout it from the rooftops. When my grandchildren address me as Grandma, my heart does these little flips. I cannot fathom how anyone could possibly not be bursting at the seams just to be a grandma. I was judging her, because she is different from me in this respect.
Curiosity about differences is healthy. No one needed to wonder why she would not call her daughter's son her grandson, because she had already given us abundant evidence that she is uncomfortable with her age. She needs acceptance and kindness, not judgment. The problem is, when I judge I am not in a frame of mind to be accepting or kind. Judgment is a harsh emotion.
I smiled at her as we were filing out of class. I found myself thinking, "If she would update her hair and her makeup and her clothing, she would look much younger." I guess I still have a lot of work to do in this area. And that's the truth.
Susan
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
How Old Are You?
"The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been." Madeleine L'Engle
Our family was blessed two years ago when my son married a lovely lady with two daughters. He became a father and I became a grandmother for the first time. If you don't have grandchildren yet, just think of the very best thing that has ever happened to you so far in your life. Okay. Being a grandparent is way better.
The girls like to talk to me about the way their lives changed when their mom married their dad, and it means the world that they view it all as completely positive. My six-year-old granddaughter told me, "At first I thought you would be a regular grandma, then look what happened!" She then began to name all the things we have done together. She assured me that I am not like an old person at all! "You're like a 16-year-old. Or a 2-year-old. I don't know what you are!"
There is a part of me that has always been a little girl. That part has two sides. There's the playful side with a childlike wonder about life, then the other side that can pout and be unreasonably childish. I don't think I can have one without the other. So yes. I am 16. And 2. And all the other ages I've been so far.
What about you? How old are you?
Susan
Our family was blessed two years ago when my son married a lovely lady with two daughters. He became a father and I became a grandmother for the first time. If you don't have grandchildren yet, just think of the very best thing that has ever happened to you so far in your life. Okay. Being a grandparent is way better.
The girls like to talk to me about the way their lives changed when their mom married their dad, and it means the world that they view it all as completely positive. My six-year-old granddaughter told me, "At first I thought you would be a regular grandma, then look what happened!" She then began to name all the things we have done together. She assured me that I am not like an old person at all! "You're like a 16-year-old. Or a 2-year-old. I don't know what you are!"
There is a part of me that has always been a little girl. That part has two sides. There's the playful side with a childlike wonder about life, then the other side that can pout and be unreasonably childish. I don't think I can have one without the other. So yes. I am 16. And 2. And all the other ages I've been so far.
What about you? How old are you?
Susan
Friday, March 18, 2011
There's No Fool Like an Old Fool
"As one grows older, one becomes more wiser and more foolish." Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Society as a whole has become more accepting of the May-December romance. The older man/younger woman combination has been around forever, and now we see older women with younger men becoming more common. I read a tongue-in-check piece which gave a formula for determining if your May-December relationship would be socially acceptable. Take the age of the older person and divide by 2. Add 7 years. That would mean a 60-year-old man could date a woman as young as 37 without anyone getting all flustered. I think that marriages and long-term relationships are challenging at best, and if two people love each other, we should for the most part leave them to their happiness.
As we get older, we should have learned from our mistakes. With age should come wisdom. It's just smart to take to heart some of the lessons you've learned along the way and use them for your own betterment. As I've grown older, I have become more willing to take risks and to be a little reckless. Really what I have I got to lose? I am less self-conscious than I was as a younger woman, a lot less scared of someone laughing at me. I kind of like being a walking contradiction, a woman wise enough to know when to be foolish.
Susan
Society as a whole has become more accepting of the May-December romance. The older man/younger woman combination has been around forever, and now we see older women with younger men becoming more common. I read a tongue-in-check piece which gave a formula for determining if your May-December relationship would be socially acceptable. Take the age of the older person and divide by 2. Add 7 years. That would mean a 60-year-old man could date a woman as young as 37 without anyone getting all flustered. I think that marriages and long-term relationships are challenging at best, and if two people love each other, we should for the most part leave them to their happiness.
As we get older, we should have learned from our mistakes. With age should come wisdom. It's just smart to take to heart some of the lessons you've learned along the way and use them for your own betterment. As I've grown older, I have become more willing to take risks and to be a little reckless. Really what I have I got to lose? I am less self-conscious than I was as a younger woman, a lot less scared of someone laughing at me. I kind of like being a walking contradiction, a woman wise enough to know when to be foolish.
Susan
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