Joie de Vivre

Painter LeRoy Neiman died yesterday at the age of 91. His art was bold and colorful, as was the man himself. He had a huge mustache, wore flamboyant clothes and smoked big Cuban cigars. Often dismissed by critics as being "superficial," his work is nothing if not joyful.

In the 1950's, he began cartoon drawings for Playboy which continued on for more than fifty years. He said, "Playboy made the good life a reality for me, and made it the subject matter of my paintings; not affluence and luxury as such, but joie de vivre itself."

Joie de vivre, the joy of living.

Susan

"Joe DiMaggio," by LeRoy Neiman

The Cabinet

George Washington's Cabinet consisted of four men. Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson, Attorney General Edmund Randolph, Secretary of War Henry Knox, and Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton. Today, there are many more Cabinet members, these senior level officials for the Executive Branch of American government.

I have a Cabinet in my life. They are a diverse group, younger and older, male and female, because those different perspectives lend balance. The thing that they all have in common is that I trust them. I share some very private things with them and I know it would never turn into gossip. I respect them because they live their lives with a high level of integrity. I know that they will be honest with me. They are not a bunch of "yes" people and would be willing to tell me some hard truths.

Ultimately how I live my life and the tough decisions that I sometimes need to make are my responsibility alone, but it is not such a lonely road when I consult with my Cabinet.

How about you? Who is in your Cabinet?

Susan

Broken Heart

"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see. But you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel." Johnny Depp

Last week I had my heart broken for the first time. All my life, I have heard that expression, a broken heart. But I never had one until the day someone I love very much told me of a problem and asked me to help. I said of course I would, and I went on to offer love and comfort and support. But inside I was shattered. Is there anything worse than watching someone you love suffer? I wished I could have traded places, to spare them this pain.

A broken heart hurts. Really, really, really bad. I didn't fight the pain. I didn't deny it. I just allowed it to be, to wash over me. I don't like pain. Usually I avoid it, but in this case it seemed, well not okay but certainly appropriate for the situation. Why use all that energy to fight it, I thought, why not let it be, and it might go away. And it did. In a few days, I felt much better, and now a week later, I am pretty much back to my old self.

And my heart? Well, it's like I went around picking up all the pieces, then I got some of that really great super glue and glued it all back together. It's as good as new. Maybe better.

So now my eyes are open to my loved one's situation, and my heart is open to everything that I can feel. If that's not living, then I don't know what is.

Life is beautiful. Even when it's not.

Susan

Hold My Hand

"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" Amos 3:3, King James Version Bible

The two young girls held hands, as they half-walked, half-skipped along on the sidewalk. Their flip flops made that slappy, summery noise on the pavement. They might have been cousins or friends or sisters, or perhaps they were sisters who were also friends, which is the best kind of way to be. Holding hands is wonderful. It says, we are in this together. It says, while we sometimes disagree, we are in complete agreement in our direction. Forward and together. It's hard to stay mad at someone when we are holding hands.

With the right person, holding hands can be very romantic. It is the only intensely intimate gesture I can think of that is also completely acceptable to do in public. Perfect. Holding hands makes us feel safe and warm. Sometimes there are scary places up ahead, and it's reassuring to feel that hand holding ours. Then there are the times when one of us wants to hang back just a bit, and the more confident of the two can gently tug us to where we need to be.

Susan

"Hold My Hand" written by Mark Bryan, Dean Felber, Darius Rucker and Jim Sonefeld

Of Dads and Other Heroes

Like some first time fathers, he was hoping that their baby would be a boy. He wouldn't know what to do with a girl, and what's up with all that pink? I watched them together the other day, this man who is a complete natural as a father, interacting with a tiny little baby, who just happened to be wearing a pink polka dot onesie and a huge pink flower on her headband. Such love!

We tend to make a big production out of Mother's Day, as we should, but Father's Day, not so much. This is reflected in Father's Day greeting cards, where there are a lot of neckties, barbecues, beer mugs and cheesy jokes and not a lot of sentiment. Maybe some fathers shun the hoopla, but I'll bet even those guys would love to get fussed over just a little, to get a phone call that tells them they are appreciated, to read a note that says they have made a difference.

Father's Day in America is this Sunday. If you are a dad, thank you for all you do. Thank you for running behind the bike, holding on to the seat and knowing exactly when to let go. Thank you for cutting the crusts off sandwiches, understanding that little things like that are really a big deal. Thank you for not getting mad when you step on yet another Lego in your bare feet. Thank you for checking the closet for monsters. Thank you for putting a little one up on your shoulders, so he can feel as tall as you.

You might shrug and say that what you do is just part of your job. You may think you are just an ordinary guy going about his business, and you would be wrong. If you could see yourself through the eyes of your child, you would know you are a hero. And all of us,  little kids and big kids alike, could always use another one of those.

Happy Father's Day.

Susan

"Isn't She Lovely?" written by Stevie Wonder for his daughter Aisha.

All the Way to the Universe and Back

Last month, a Florida family lost their home in a fire, but not before twelve-year-old Justin Jackson got himself and his three younger siblings safely out. Their father was away on business and their mother was at work. Now a child that young taking care of his younger brothers and sisters is just not the safest thing, but that is a story for another day.

I love what nine-year-old Emilio Jackson said about his big brother. "If he wasn't here, we would not be alive. I love him all the way to the universe and back."

Wow. That is a lot of love.

Susan

You can read more about this in a piece by Sevil Omer of msnbc.com.

True Strength

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as true strength." Saint Francis de Sales

Life is full of everyday, ordinary people who do the right thing. Case in point. Californian Oscar Lopez who stopped his neighbor from beating his young stepson, but not before capturing it all on video. Brilliant! As a result, Anthony Sanchez was charged with felony child abuse. And a little boy knows that there is at least one person in the world who will stick up for him.

Where was the child's mother? Her husband was beating her son. Where was the child's biological father? Why, after being let out on bail, was Sanchez allowed to go on a planned family vacation to Alabama? Why are we living in the 21st century and people still think the way to teach a child is by beating him?

Life is full of everyday, ordinary fathers who do the right thing. Dads. Biological dads, stepdads, foster dads, adoptive dads, father figures who would never hurt a child. Dads who don't think they need to toughen little boys up by beating them while they play ball with them, as Sanchez apparently was doing.  Dads who use their strength to lead and not intimidate. Dads who step in when a child is in danger. Dads like Oscar Lopez.

Lopez could have turned away, deciding it was none of his business. He didn't. A week from tomorrow we will celebrate Father's Day here in America. I hope Oscar Lopez has a happy one.

Susan

Update: Sanchez's attorney now reports that Sanchez did not accompany his wife, stepson and a child he and the wife have together to Alabama.