I Dream of Larry Hagman

Larry Hagman just passed away, and most of the headlines refer to him as the actor who played J. R. Ewing on "Dallas." It seems that was the role for which he was most famous. I saw that TV show a few times, but I never did watch it much mostly because I just hated seeing Major Nelson from "I Dream of Jeannie" being such a villain.

"Dallas" was on primetime when I was an adult, but "Jeannie" was a show from my childhood. Having one's childhood illusions shattered is not a fun thing. Do you remember "My Three Sons" with Fred MacMurray as the wonderful dad? A few years ago, I saw for my first time the classic film "Double Jeopardy" starring MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck. Great movie, and the bad guy MacMurray played years before he became Rob, Chip and Ernie's dad is an amazing performance. But I'll take Steve Douglas any day of the week, thank you very much.

Coincidentally, Larry Hagman's mother is the great actress Mary Martin. She charmed us in Peter Pan, The Sound of Music and South Pacific. Young Larry was raised by his grandparents and was estranged from his mother for many years, for she was one of those women whose career came first, and her child came second. They reconciled later in Martin's life, so I guess somehow he came to terms with who his mother was.

Heroes and villains. It's the stuff that entertainment is made of. And we often play out our own inner dramas by watching men such as Major Nelson and J. R. Ewing on the screen.

Of course, Larry Hagman the person was not the roles he played. He was a father and a grandfather, and had been married to the same woman for 58 years. A heavy drinker and smoker at one time, he cautioned others not to ruin their health in the same way. His co-star from "Jeannie" Barbara Eden wrote a lovely tribute to him, and said what an influence he had been in her life.

Heroes and villains. Reality is not that simple. We human beings are complicated. But maybe that is precisely why so many people loved watching J. R. Ewing. And that is definitely why I liked Major Nelson way better than Mr. Ewing. I'll still take a hero any day of the week.

Susan

Holidays for Heroes

I wrote about the wonderful holiday my younger son and I enjoyed on the Massachusetts island of Nantucket here. In September, through the generosity of some wonderful folks, there will be a celebration of our military heroes on the island.

It's difficult for me to think about the Fourth of July and not remember those brave men and women who have served our country down through the years. One of the positive things that has come out of the horrible 9/11 tragedy is that we as a country seem to have a new and greater appreciation for our active duty military and our veterans. It's not easy transitioning to civilian life when we are whole and healthy, and it's even more of a challenge for those who have been wounded.

Holidays for Heroes is a wonderful way to say thank you, we appreciate you, we love you, we support you as you have supported us. I invite you to visit their website.

Susan

Of Dads and Other Heroes

Like some first time fathers, he was hoping that their baby would be a boy. He wouldn't know what to do with a girl, and what's up with all that pink? I watched them together the other day, this man who is a complete natural as a father, interacting with a tiny little baby, who just happened to be wearing a pink polka dot onesie and a huge pink flower on her headband. Such love!

We tend to make a big production out of Mother's Day, as we should, but Father's Day, not so much. This is reflected in Father's Day greeting cards, where there are a lot of neckties, barbecues, beer mugs and cheesy jokes and not a lot of sentiment. Maybe some fathers shun the hoopla, but I'll bet even those guys would love to get fussed over just a little, to get a phone call that tells them they are appreciated, to read a note that says they have made a difference.

Father's Day in America is this Sunday. If you are a dad, thank you for all you do. Thank you for running behind the bike, holding on to the seat and knowing exactly when to let go. Thank you for cutting the crusts off sandwiches, understanding that little things like that are really a big deal. Thank you for not getting mad when you step on yet another Lego in your bare feet. Thank you for checking the closet for monsters. Thank you for putting a little one up on your shoulders, so he can feel as tall as you.

You might shrug and say that what you do is just part of your job. You may think you are just an ordinary guy going about his business, and you would be wrong. If you could see yourself through the eyes of your child, you would know you are a hero. And all of us,  little kids and big kids alike, could always use another one of those.

Happy Father's Day.

Susan

"Isn't She Lovely?" written by Stevie Wonder for his daughter Aisha.